Birthparent Stories
Nothing can compare to the stories, the love, and the families that are involved in an adoption of a child. Our story is quite different than others and is a story of remembrance, not forgetfulness. A child should never be forgotten and that, I believe, is what adoption is all about. It is about the child and nothing else.
My boyfriend and I had been in a relationship of which was off to a very strong start. We were best friends and cherished our time together. After about five months of dating, I moved to Florida away from him and the place I called home. We were both deeply upset with this, but we knew we’d be able to see each other and we’d make it last. Just as missing each other became almost unbearable; we thought I might also be pregnant. Being only 16 and him only 17, we were incredibly scared and we denied it. About a month after I had moved, it became noticeable and my mom began to ask questions. I finally told her that I was pregnant. Just as any mother would do, she forbid me to talk to my boyfriend. We were all very upset and we thought that this was the end of my life as a teenager. Even though my boyfriend and I weren’t allowed to talk, we still wouldn’t give up on each other. We loved each other and this baby too much to just give up.
Later that week my mom and I went to a Pregnancy Care Center and talked about our options to a counselor. At that time I was so scared of having a child that abortion was the only option on my mind, although I really didn’t have a clue what was really involved with an abortion. The counselors talked me though abortion, adoption, and foster care. After hearing about Bethany’s adoption plan, I knew it was the right choice. That afternoon we went to the doctor’s office to get an ultrasound. Once I saw the baby on the screen and I felt it kick, I couldn’t believe I ever considered an abortion. I knew I was a mother now and I had to give this baby a chance at life. Killing a baby through an abortion is unfair, cruel, and sad.
I met with a Bethany counselor later on and went though all of my choices and plans for this baby. I had the choice of what family I wanted this baby to go into and how I kept in touch with them. I knew my child was going to be safe and taken care of. It was a relief to know that she’d know who her birthparents were throughout her life. It was a relief to know that she’d know we love her.
I went through the whole pregnancy without any complications. Giving birth to this baby was the most beautiful thing I had ever experienced. Going through the adoption process and giving others a chance to have the family they want is what made this peaceful for me, the birthfather, and our family. We receive pictures of our beautiful baby every so often. The birthfather and I are still together and still love each other very much. We can’t wait to see our beautiful girl again and see how wonderfully she was brought up.
--m and jL
Birthmother Andrea
Hi my name is Andrea. In 2005, my senior year of high school and only a few days after my 18th birthday, I found myself pregnant. You see I have goals and plans for my future and I really didn’t have time to take care of a baby boy. And my son would need so much more than a young single mother could give him. He deserved so much more than to be without a godly father’s influence. When being a mother, you don’t think of just yourself. Your child must come first. At 18, I couldn’t see myself fulfilling my dreams while providing the needs and love of my son, Andrew.
That next month was the hardest for me. I had to give up being in the youth group in church and many senior activities because of my pregnancy. I wasn’t’ ready to give my life into full time motherhood. While only a few months to go, I had to make a lot of decisions. March was a time of confirmation for me. A birthparent counselor from Bethany Christian Services came to my house to explain the adoption option. Adoption, the way for my son to have a better life. This counselor helped me realize that adoption was a very selfless act and that I would be able to pick godly parents who have been through training to be an adopted child’s parent. Andrew was growing and I was ready for him to come into the world. With less than one month to go, she showed me a profile of a couple and after meeting Chuck and Risa, I fell in love with them and came to know that we have a lot in common. They were to be the ones to provide care for Andrew and be his parents.
On May 5th, I finally delivered a healthy baby boy. When Chuck and Risa arrived at the hospital to see little Andrew, it was a bittersweet moment for me to know that they will enjoy him the rest of his life. That was the best Mother’s Day to give her the greatest gift of all. They made the hospital weekend experienced all about me and let me say goodbye when I was ready to leave Andrew. My counselor helped me to know that I was doing this because I love my son and that I will always be his mother.
When we all went our separate ways, I was emailed pictures every week for a while and I still receive pictures in the mail every few months. The experience with Bethany was great. My needs and feelings were met and they helped me with the grieving process that I went through for months missing my son. Thank you for your support in helping me and my son fulfill our dreams and needs.
--Andrea