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Myths about Adoption
 Birthparents who care would never consider adoption.
You may think that if you consider adoption for your child, you are a cold, uncaring, selfish person. Maybe you're afraid others will think you don't love your child. In fact, women who make adoption plans for their children are among the most courageous, for they put their child's needs first. Your pregnancy counselor can arrange for you to speak with birthparents who have already placed a child for adoption and struggled with this issue. You will see how much they love their child. Allowing your child to be born is a loving choice. Choosing to place your child with a family that can provide a stable, loving home is an act of love and sacrifice, not an act of abandonment.
 Birthparents will never know anything about their child and his or her adoptive parents in the following years.
You may be thinking that if you choose adoption, you will never know anything about your child's future. But today, information sharing between birth and adoptive parents is very common. As birthparents, you can help to develop an adoption plan that has the degree of openness you want.
All adopted children grow up to have serious psychological problems.
Maybe you have heard that adopted children have serious problems with drugs, alcohol, personal relationships, and mental illness. Research does not support this misunderstanding. Studies* show that:
- Adopted and non-adopted children are similar in frequency of adjustment disorders, delinquency, and mental illness.
- Adopted teenagers are as emotionally stable as non-adopted teenagers.
- Adopted individuals do not have more family problems than non-adopted people.
*Benson, P.L., and Sharma, A., 1994. "Adopted Teenagers." Adoptive Families: 2 (July/August): 18.
 Birthparents will have emotional problems if they choose adoption.
Some birthparents view adoption negatively because they fear they will never recover emotionally. Some feel they will never again be happy. A pregnancy counselor will help you choose the type of adoption that will be best for you and your child. You will grieve the loss of your child and that grief can be painful. However, the ability to grieve is a sign of mental health, and healing will come in time.
No one can love a child as much as the birthmother can.
Adoptive parents can love their child as fully and selflessly as biological parents. Good parenting is a matter of unconditional love and acceptance, consistently nurturing and caring in a way that puts the needs of the child first. Adoptive parents love their children as much as if they had given birth to them.
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