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The majority of our domestic adoptions are newborn infant adoptions of various racial and ethnic backgrounds reflecting Northern California’s diverse population. Most are direct hospital “fos/adopt” placements (adoptive families are “foster parents” for a short period of time, until birth parent rights are fully terminated). Occasionally, we have older infants in need of adoptive families.
Birth parents who come to Bethany are typically looking for adoptive couples with the following characteristics: committed Christians who are active in their church; have been married for at least three years; are healthy/active; generally under age 45; who have infertility history (0 or 1 child); who present well in a profile; and would embrace the spirit of open adoption. At-home (or part-time employed) mothers are usually preferred. Other factors such as where you live, education level, previous marriages, etc. are considered on an individual basis.
Birth mothers who seek our services have ranged in age from 13 to 45, although most are between 19 and 30. Most come to us in their last trimester of pregnancy. Some may contact us after their baby is born or after a few months of parenting. We find that birth parents are from a variety of backgrounds and situations. The common thread is that they have their child’s best interest at heart, and are lovingly giving their child a “forever family”. Most are from Northern California, but we have had women from other states choose our families (often through the Bethany website). Common referral sources include Crisis Pregnancy Centers, pastors, the phone book, medical clinics, hospitals, county agencies and personal referrals.
Only 1% of pregnant women in the U.S. make adoption plans for their children. The women we see are motivated to choose adoption due to many factors – the decision is never made lightly. These factors may include: believing in the importance of a stable two-parent family; lack of resources to provide the quality of care she believes the child deserves; already may be single parenting and is overwhelmed; after much soul-searching, concluding that she is not ready to be a parent.
The majority of infants adopted through our domestic program are healthy at birth and not considered “special needs”, but it is very common to have some type of “potential health risk factor” due to a variety of birth parent situations. For example: substance use during the pregnancy, limited (or unknown) birth parent history, limited prenatal care, birth parents having emotional and /or learning concerns, etc. Most of our infants do not qualify for AAP (Adoption Assistance Program for special needs children). Bethany will give adoptive families as complete health/family/social history of the birth parents and child as is available. Research clearly shows that adopted children do very well in all areas, even with these “potential” health risk factors.
It is impossible to predict how long a “waiting family” might wait. The average waiting time for adoptive families seems to range from 6-24 months with wide ranges highly depending on the level of openness to various situations and child/birth parent backgrounds AND birth parent selection. Because birthparents select the adoptive family, Bethany cannot guarantee that a family will be selected. However, we have found that it is rare that a family isn’t selected. Couples open only to predominantly Caucasian infants with few health risk factors tend to wait the longest. (In this case, we would strongly recommend further outreach/networking efforts on your part.) Our biggest need is for adoptive families for babies of minority and mixed race (Latino, African-American) and those who are open to typical “potential” health risk factors such as prenatal drug exposure and mental health history.
Most birth mothers who make adoption plans through Bethany voluntarily terminate their parental rights within two weeks after the child’s birth. Most (alleged) birth fathers either sign a document waiving their rights or have their rights terminated in a court process (typically 45-60 days after the child’s birth). A small number of birth mothers (about 10-15% in a year) change their adoption plans sometime between matching with an adoptive family and prior to terminating her rights. Although Bethany gives the selected adoptive family a “risk assessment”, we cannot predict which birth parents will implement an adoption plan and which will reverse their decision.
In order to be available to adopt through Bethany’s traditional domestic adoption program, prospective adoptive parents are expected to participate fully in an assessment and preparation process through Bethany. Regulations governing this “Assessment” process are set by the California State Department of Social Services. Bethany has the legal and well as ethical obligation to deny approval to adoptive applicants based on these regulations.
The “steps to adopt” include: attending an informational meeting, attending a day long educational seminar, reading assignments, submission of formal application/ documents/verifications, joint and individual interviews, and a home visit. This process typically takes about 3 to 5 months. Families are assisted in creating Profiles from which birth parents make their selection of an adoptive family.
After the baby joins the adoptive family, Bethany is required to provide follow-up services prior to adoption finalization. Regulations governing “post placement services” are also set by the California State Department of Social Services.
Bethany advocates open adoption as the healthiest arrangement for children in adoption. Most of our domestic adoptions are “open” in which birth parents select the adoptive family from Profiles, and relationships are formed between birth parents and adoptive parents. Full identifying information (names, addresses, phone numbers) is usually exchanged and lifelong communication is agreed to in writing (this is NOT the same as co-parenting). Research shows that children growing up in open adoption tend to do very well, have more clarity about their adoption, and are not confused. If a birth parent is unable to participate in a fully open adoption, contact can be facilitated through the agency.
Bethany strives to be fair and supportive to all parties in the adoption process, but the goal of adoption should be to honor the child’s needs foremost.
Program Summary 2007
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