Disrupted Adoption Plan
Having an adoption plan disrupt was not what you had planned and may feel like another cruel twist. God has not promised you a life without pain but has promised to be with you in all the twists and turns. Remember His promise and know that He is with you.
Our prayer for you is that, as you walk this path, you will feel God's presence and comfort. May you find healing and peace in His ultimate plan for you.
You never thought it would happen to you. Even though your adoption worker told you that a number of families would experience the disruption of an adoption plan before a baby came into their home for good, you thought that it would happen to other people—but not you.
When an adoption plan disrupts, whether before a baby is born or after, whether you have met the birthfamily or had the baby in your home, the pain and feelings of loss are real. Once you hear the news that you have been selected as adoptive parents, you often begin to bond with the idea of that baby, the baby that might become your child to love and to raise. You know on one level that this is not a sure thing, that you have to wait—and wait patiently—but, in your heart, on an emotional level, you want this baby so much. This must be the baby that God intends for your family.
“For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.” Jeremiah 29:11-12 NIV
When your adoption plan did not become a reality, you experienced a profound loss. It is similar to the loss that expectant parents feel when they experience miscarriage or stillbirth. Your grief is real. But, all too often, potential adoptive parents feel as if they do not have the right to grieve. After all, the baby is alive and well and going to be raised by loving parents. And, it was not your baby—yet.
But an adoption plan that does not materialize is a loss, and the hurt and pain run deep. The grief of parents who miscarry or have an adoption plan disrupt is sometimes called "disenfranchised grief" because people may not feel entitled to grieve or may feel that, without a death, they should not feel grief.
Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul. Rescue me from my enemies, O LORD, for I hide myself in you. Teach me to do your will, for you are my God; may your good Spirit lead me on level ground.
Psalm 143:8-10 NIV