Unexpected Pregnancy
Facing an Unexpected Pregnancy with Courage
Unexpectedly learning that you are pregnant can be an overwhelming experience. You may be experiencing a flood of emotions and concerns, and trying to make a decision about what is best for your baby may feel like a big task. By taking everything one small step at a time, though, you will find that you possess a courage and strength that you might not have ever known before was in you.
By reading this material, you are already taking an important first step along the path of making an informed choice – research! You have several options to consider as you think about what would be best for your baby and for yourself, and the choice you make will have an impact not just on your life, but the lives of your child and others involved as well. By getting accurate and complete information about each of your options, you can make the best decision possible – one that you can be proud of not just now but years down the road when you look back on this crossroads in your life.
Bethany Cares – How We Can Help
At Bethany, we understand that you are facing one of the most important decisions of your life and you will not be pressured into any decision – the choices are yours to make. A number of the women we meet with decide to parent their child and we are able to help them get connected with the community resources they need to make their plan a reality. They are able to move more confidently into parenting knowing that they looked at all of their options and truly chose to parent, rather than feeling like there were no choices before them to make. Many other women we meet with decide that making an adoption plan is the right choice for them and are able to move forward confidently as well, again knowing that they thoroughly investigated their options and made a decision that they can be proud of.
Whether you are unsure about the choice that is right for you and feel like counseling to help you make your decision would be helpful, or you know that you want to make an adoption plan and are looking for the best family for your child and straight-forward answers on how to move forward, Bethany can help. Our Birthparent Counselors are available to help you talk through the choices before you, share what they know about the legal requirements for making an adoption plan in Georgia, help you connect with other people who have been in a similar situation to find out what they felt or did that was helpful to them, and provide emotional support and encouragement, They can meet with you in the privacy of our office, or in another place of your choosing, even your home if that is more convenient for you.
At Bethany, we care about you and know that other people do too. We encourage you to involve your family, or other key people in your life, in your planning process, and we can meet with them as well and help them work through their own feelings about your pregnancy so that they can give you the emotional support you need. We also recognize that you may be in a situation where, for one reason or another, you are going through your pregnancy on your own. We always respect your right to confidentiality and to involve as many, or as few, people in your plan as you desire. We can also help support you by talking with your baby’s birthfather, providing free legal services to put your adoption plan in place, and, when needed, providing assistance with pregnancy-related medical and living expenses, either directly or through referrals to community organizations that specialize in your area of need. If you need health insurance during your pregnancy, you may qualify for Medicaid, and your Bethany counselor can help you obtain coverage. Bethany can usually cover any medical expenses not covered by Medicaid.
Open Adoption Plans – The Choice is Up to You!
At Bethany, we have seen first-hand the positive effects of adoption in the lives of many women we have been privileged to assist through their pregnancy. It allows women who do not feel ready to parent the ability to give their baby the gift of life, make a responsible plan for their baby’s well-being, continue pursuing educational and career goals, and learn valuable decision-making skills that will serve them well in the future. Through openness, adoption today offers additional benefits to birthmothers. Some of the openness options available to you through Bethany include:
- Selecting the family that you want to adopt your child;
- Meeting the family that you choose for your child, before and/or after your child is born;
- Receiving pictures of and updates on your child after the adoption takes place;
- Having post-adoption visits with your child and the parents that you chose for him or her;
- Exchanging identifying information with your child’s adoptive parents or using Bethany as an intermediary if you wish to maintain your privacy.
With Bethany, you choose the level of openness that is right for you. You also have choices when it comes to your time in the hospital. You are in control of how much time you spend with your baby – you can see her, have her room in with you, name her, feed her and receive keepsake mementos of your time in the hospital together. You also determine whether you want the adoptive parents you choose to be present at the hospital, and if so, when and how often you want them to be with you and your baby.
Once you have determined what kind of adoption plan is right for you, your Bethany Birthparent Counselor will work with you to find a family waiting to adopt that also wants the same amount of openness in their relationship with you. You can begin looking at the profiles of some of our
waiting families. We also have other wonderful waiting families whose profiles are not on our web site that you can learn about when you meet with your Birthparent Counselor. We have a diverse range of families waiting to adopt who are excited about meeting you and adopting infants of all ethnic backgrounds. If you are concerned that your baby may have some special needs, due to prenatal exposure to drugs or alcohol or conditions that you are aware of in your medical or social history, talk with your Birthparent Counselor, who will help you find a family open to parenting a child with possible special needs and giving your baby all the love her or she needs to thrive and live a happy life.
In Georgia, legal papers for making an adoption plan are not signed until at least 24 hours after the baby’s birth and birthparents have an additional 10 days after signing legal papers in which they can change their mind about their plan. As you can probably tell from what you have already read, though, there are several important decisions to make leading up to signing the legal papers, so it is usually a good idea to start planning ahead early in your pregnancy. Only you know the amount of support that is right for you, though, and even if you do not feel ready to talk to someone until later in your pregnancy, we can help you make a loving plan for your baby that you can feel proud of.
Support After Adoption
Adoption is a loving choice that offers positive benefits to you and your child. It also includes aspects of sadness and loss. This is normal and is a part of handling an unexpected pregnancy – no matter what plan you make for your baby, there are things you will gain and things you will lose. As part of your adoption planning process, you and your Birthparent Counselor can talk about the kinds of normal losses involved in adoption, what kinds of sadness may follow saying goodbye to a baby, and how to take care of yourself now and in the future, so that you feel prepared for what you might feel and can be patient with yourself during the healing process. We also offer post-adoption counseling, both individually and through our monthly support meetings, to help you heal by talking with other women who have made adoption plans for their children and are using their experience in positive and life-changing ways. We also offer a bi-monthly support meeting for extended family members of birthparents who have chosen adoption. One of the group participants, Amy, describes the benefits of getting support and encouragement from other women who have made adoption plans:
“Continued support to birthmothers is much needed because a birthmother is never ‘cured.’ The monthly support groups provide encouragement and a place to cry. Sharing your story with others who understand makes the healing process easier.”
All of these post-adoption services area available to you, free of charge, if you want to include them as part of your plan.
What’s the Next Step?
If you would like to learn more about Bethany Christian Services of Georgia, the services we provide, how to make an adoption plan in Georgia, or any of our families who are waiting to adopt, please
contact us. If you contact us via our website, please let us know whether you want us to respond to you by phone or email. You may also call us at 770.455.7111, or toll-free at 1.800.455.7372, and ask to speak with a Birthparent Counselor. We look forward to serving you!