Amber's Story
This story actually begins four and a half years before I got pregnant. I was a freshman in highschool, and became good friends with my JV volleyball coach. Even after the season was over, we kept in touch. She was very supportive of anything I went through, and came to see me graduate. That was the last time I would see her, as a few weeks later she died in a car accident. I promised her family I would keep in touch with them, and we'd email eachother.
The beginning of my sophomore year I became pregnant. I was 19 at the time. I found out when I was 3 weeks along. I felt so much shock at first.... it was so hard to deal with something like this when "it only happened to other people, not ME!" My boyfriend at the time immediately pushed for an abortion. I didn't want that at all, but didn't know how I could do anything else without his support. With the help of my friends, and talking to a counselor at the college I went to, I finally decided that I would carry the baby. I broke it off with my boyfriend, and began dating someone else. I know my parents were probably pretty uncomfortable with me dating someone new while in this situation, but he was so supportive, and was the one who set up the appointment with the counselor, and got me to see the college nurses. He supported my decision, whether it was to parent or place for adoption.
For quite a while I tried to hide my pregnancy from the general public. But as I started getting larger and the weather was getting much warmer, it was impossible to hide! Wherever I went, I was stared at. Openly, as if people were dissecting me. Most people also assumed my new boyfriend was the father. The early part of my pregnancy was a breeze - no morning sickness at all! But then I had to start dealing with infections, including a kidney infection that kept me in the hospital for a few days. I also started getting strange migraines.
The counselor I'd talked to at college recommended a couple adoption agencies to talk to, and one was Bethany. I had my first meeting there when I was about 6 months pregnant. I let my counselor there know that I had already chosen a couple to adopt my baby. They were the older sister and her husband of my former volleyball coach.
I was due on June 16, but a week later and I still hadn't gone into labor. My doctor scheduled me to be induced on the 24th. When we went in that day, they realized I was dilated to 3 centimeters! Needless to say, they let nature take over, and I gave birth to a daughter about 9 hours later. She was born on the 25th, 2 years to the day of when my friend, her now adopted aunt, had died. We all took it as just another sign that this was meant to be.
Placing my daughter for adoption was the best decision I could make for her at the time. I am still struggling financially, and wanted her to be in a stable home. I also knew that her birthfather was in no way responsible enough to be a good role model and father if I decided to parent.
My boyfriend was there throughout the whole labor and birth, along with my mom, aunt, brother, and a friend. I'm so lucky to have such a supportive family and friends. Johnny and I were married on March 20, 2004. We can't wait until we can start a family of our own. Watching me give birth and spending what time he could with my birthdaughter has made him realize he wants nothing more in life than to be a father. And I believe the most important thing you can do is be a parent. Whether it's a birthparent, adoptive, grandparent, or just a good role model for any kids.