From Peter to Christian
I was a freshman in college when I became pregnant. I kept my secret from my friends but most of all from my parents for fear that someone would convince me that I should just go and get an abortion. It finally came obvious that I would not be able to keep it a secret any longer when I had, of all things, an x-ray taken by my chiropractor. She needless to say confronted me as to why I had two skeletons instead of the customary one. I was given an ultimatum to tell my mother or she would. Once I told my mother, I was already approximately seven and a half months pregnant; I began prenatal care and was then directed to inform my father. My father was less than enthusiastic; however, he did not respond how I expected. He curled up on the couch and would not speak to me but - he didn’t say I had to leave. I was given many options and choices - none of which I chose. I went to my minister who was the pastor at Calvary Baptist Church of Darien, Connecticut and he led me to Bethany Christian Services.
From the moment I met my caseworker from Bethany I was made to feel comfortable. I was not judged nor was I condemned for being unmarried and pregnant. After going thru the process by which Bethany chooses parents for the children that are placed in their care I knew I had made the correct choice. Bethany was there for me, not just to grab a baby and move on. The day my baby was born was truly difficult; the doctor had been informed in advance that the child would be placed in adoption and that I wished no information about the baby. She defied me and placed this small bundle on my stomach. My son was born in August - it was definitely not cold in the delivery room. My labor had been induced and then delayed due to muscle relaxants. This was my first birth and it was not an easy process. As I look back the labor was the hardest part of the adoption process. Three days after my child was born I went home in tears and without him. Bethany came by and once again offered me the option to give me six months to make sure I wanted the adoption. I declined. I figured the child did not ask to be here so why delay his entry into a family that would love and adore him like he deserved. I signed the final papers and began a long journey.
For the next 17 years I cried each year on his birthday. I yearned to know how he was doing. Each and every time I felt like I had to know I called Bethany and they provided me with the information that they could divulge within a closed adoption. It helped me greatly to receive the family profile. I knew the type of people that had received my gift of life. I was also able to send letters to a file that I hoped someday my child would read and find out that I did love him greatly and made my decision with much prayer and thought. I didn’t just get rid of an inconvenience, I made a choice to give my child two parents that were yearning to share their love and lives with a child. This alone would make a great story but God had other things in mind.
During the 17th year after the adoption, I began to wonder if my child was still alive and if he wasn’t, would I be told? I once again contacted Bethany and was reassured that indeed the child was still alive. I requested an update and lo and behold God answered my prayer! I found out that he had many similar problems that his younger sibling had ( I had two more children within those first ten years of his life). I found out that he had been told in love that he had been chosen and adopted. I also found out that his adoptive parents were interested in reunifying us. WOW, I finally realized I wasn’t prepared to answer his questions, his parent’s questions, and even my own questions. I received another correspondence at my son’s 18th year. I found out that he wanted to see me on his 18th birthday, however due to poor choices I would not be able to see him. I was directed to call a counselor that he was working with at the time.
I remember the phone call like it was yesterday. I spoke with a total stranger about a child that I had not seen in 18 years. We discussed his birth and some of his concerns. The counselor asked me if he could call back in about 15 minutes - he needed to speak with my baby about a few things. Fifteen minutes later the call came through. On the other end of the phone a voice said, "Hi Mom, I’m Christian." The tears flowed; I couldn’t believe I was actually talking with a miracle. We spent the next few weeks planning when we could meet. It was finally decided that he and his parents would come up to where I was living the day after Christmas. Christmas Day no longer held the same meaning. Amazingly, Christian was born in Connecticut, taken to New Jersey, placed for adoption in New York and then moved to Southern California. I started in Connecticut, went to College in Virginia and then moved to Northern California. I had lived in the same state with my child and didn’t even know it! Christian was born in August and adopted in October. His parents were told one day prior to leaving the country for a trip. Needless to say, they cancelled their trip and got Christian.
Why do I call this story "From Peter to Christian"? When Christian was born I was given the opportunity to name him. It took the three days that I spent in the hospital with him. I named him Peter (the rock) Michael (the arc angel). I figured he would need a strong name to help him make it and it should have a Christian significance as well. I knew God would be with him and it was the only way I knew of to dedicate him back to God before he left me for what I thought would be forever. His parents must have had the same idea. They gave him the name Christian.
I am maintaining contact with Christian via e-mail. The hole that was once in my heart has been filled. I am so grateful - not only for Bethany, but for Christian’s parents for their love and support in this adoption. I could not have picked a better set of parents for Christian. Thank you Bethany and thank you Scott and Louise for all you have done. Tears fall again for the miracle that you have helped happen.