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Frequently asked questions for adoptive parents
History and expertise
Bethany Christian Services is a Christ-centered, pro-life, adoption and family services agency with more than 75 locations in over 30 states and ministries in more than a dozen countries. Bethany is the nation’s leader in adoption services, placing nearly 2,000 domestic and international children into families each year. Bethany was founded in 1944 in Grand Rapids, Michigan.
 Bethany is a not-for-profit 501(c)(3) adoption agency and is nationally accredited by or a member of the following organizations:
Council on Accreditation for Agencies for Families and Children (COA)
The Child Welfare League of America
The National Council for Adoption
The North American Council on Adoptable Children
The Joint Council on International Children’s Services
The Evangelical Council on Financial Accountability
We understand the infertility journey
For many decades, Bethany has provided support, comfort, and family-building options for couples facing infertility. We understand the heartache of a failed pregnancy, the uncertainty related to family-building decisions, and the joy that follows parenthood—whether through adoption or medical intervention. We are also aware that specialized medical interventions can result in both joy and unintended dilemmas.
Experiencing the unexpected
When couples choose the option of IVF and embryo cryopreservation, sometimes more embryos are created than the couple is able to use to build their family. While each embryo was lovingly created with the intention of being used, couples who experience pregnancy and birth may find that they have completed their family prior to using all of their embryos. Deciding what to do with additional embryos is a dilemma that many couples face.
How long has Bethany been providing embryo donation and adoption services?
Bethany’s work with embryo donation and adoption began in 2000 when staff began to conduct Home Studies for couples adopting frozen embryos. In 2004, Bethany’s National Board introduced frozen embryo donation and adoption into Bethany’s national strategic plan.
How many embryos are waiting for a decision?
There are an estimated 400,000 embryos living in a frozen or cryopreservation state in medical labs and clinics across the U.S. The familes that created them will not use these embryos and a decision must be made on their behalf.
What options are there for these waiting embryos?
Currently, there are four choices that couples may make regarding their embryos. They may:
- Destroy the embryos.
- Submit the embryos for medical research.
- Store the embryos indefinitely or until a final decision is reached.
- Donate the embryos for adoption.
The Adoptive Couple
Why might couples choose embryo adoption rather than traditional adoption?
Couples who have experienced infertility are often anxious to experience the miracle of pregnancy and birth, something not possible in other forms of adoption. Further, couples look forward to the opportunity to begin the bonding process while the baby is in utero, which allows them to nurture, protect, and safeguard the baby’s physical and developmental environment during pregnancy. For some couples, there is peace of mind in knowing that the release decision has been made and finalized prior to the donation and adoption transfer.
Are there eligibility requirements for an adoptive family?
The adoptive couple must complete a Home Study, which provides education regarding the adoption process and the unique issues or needs that may be associated in raising an adopted child. The adoptive mother must be in good general health and declared physically able to carry a baby to term. A medical doctor will need to provide a letter indicating that there are no contraindications to pregnancy.
Do couples have to be infertile to adopt embryos through bethany?
At this time, Bethany is working with medical centers that require an adopting family to have an infertility diagnosis prior to being approved for the adoption of an embryo.
Can single women adopt an embryo through bethany?
Bethany is working with medical centers whose policies are to medically transfer embryos to married couples. Other centers and agencies may have differing policies, and Bethany will make referrals to those centers if we are aware of them.
Is there an age limit for the adoptive mother?
Yes. That limit may vary by medical practice and will be based on numerous factors related to the health and age of the adopting couple. Typically, adoptive mothers must be 45 years or younger.
May adoptive couples use a surrogate mother to carry their adopted embryos?
This service is not being offered at this time.
What are the advantages of adopting embryos through Bethany?
- You will receive individualized support from expertly trained and credentialed professionals who specialize in both infertility counseling and embryo donation, release, and adoption.
- You may choose from a full range of openness options and possibilities.
- You will be actively included in the embryo pairing/matching process and will receive a detailed profile of the donor family’s medical and social history.
- You will receive a decision-making tool kit to help you decide what level of openness and/or ongoing contact you may wish to have with the donor family.
- Our expert staff provide you with assistance, education, and support related to issues such as how to talk about adoption with your child(ren).
- You will receive resources and referrals to medical professionals who specialize in embryo donation and adoption procedures.
- Our counselors provide specialized facilitation services related to the transfer of the embryo(s) to your physician’s medical center.
- If your embryo adoption does not result in the hoped for birth of a child, Bethany offers families alternative adoption possibilities through our domestic and international adoption programs.
What are possible risks with embryo adoption?
- Adopted embryos may not survive the thawing or transfer preparation process.
- Pregnancy and childbirth following each physical transfer attempt are not guaranteed because not all embryos that survive thawing will successfully implant.
- There is a higher risk of a multiple pregnancy following embryo adoption because usually more than one embryo is transferred.
- The adoptive mother may face certain medical risks associated with pregnancy preparation, the transfer process, general or heightened risks associated with pregnancy, or a multiple pregnancy.
- If donors have not completed a follow-up medical testing prior to donation transfer, there is a risk for exposure to a potentially communicable disease.
- As with genetic birth, a couple must be prepared to parent a child with medical or developmental challenges, and the couple may not select the child’s gender.
What costs are involved in the adoption process?
The cost of a Home Study, costs associated with necessary medical screening tests for the donor, costs associated with laboratory storage and transfer, and the cost associated with medical assessment preparation and embryo transfer and follow-up.
What is the chance of a pregnancy occurring following an embryo adoption?
Typically, there is a 20% to 35% chance of pregnancy occurring per cycle attempt. As with other ART (Assisted Reproductive Technology) procedures, there is a higher incidence of a multiple pregnancy. Factors that may affect the success of the transfer include the medical preparation and transfer process, the age and structure of the embryo, the age of the genetic parents, the length of time the embryo has been in cyropreservation, the health of the adoptive mother, etc.
How likely is it for genetically related children to unknowingly meet and marry?
Statistically, the odds of this type of situation ever occurring are very small. However, some donors request that the embryos be placed with an adoptive family that resides in another part of the country.
How are adoptive families screened prior to adoption?
Applicants are thoroughly screened just as they would be for a more traditional infant adoption. Families complete a Home Study, receive adoption education, and participate in several interviews and home visits.
All adoptive families complete a formal Home Study, which includes a criminal background check, an autobiography, references, an assessment for parenting ability, and a review of finances, etc. The Home Study takes two to six months to complete. The purpose of a Home Study is to determine the adoptive couples’ preparedness for embryo adoption.
Families also receive adoption education, which is a vital aspect of the adoption process. In addition, all adoptive families participate in a series of interviews and home visits.
If a couple has already completed a Home Study through another agency, the couple may ask the agency to send a copy of their Home Study to Bethany for review. We will let the couple know if they will need to update their Home Study.
If, for some reason, pregnancy and birth are not achieved through embryo adoption, the adoptive couple may use the Home Study to pursue domestic or international adoption.
Donor families also complete a family profile so that adopting families may learn about them, as well.
Embryo Donation
Why might a couple consider the option of embryo donation?
Donation and adoption offer the chance for life, hope, and a family for the embryo. For the donating couple, there is the satisfaction of choosing a life-affirming option and the joy from helping an infertile couple potentially achieve the miracle of becoming parents.
Can donors select the adoptive family?
Yes. Unlike many medical practices that offer embryo donation, Bethany allows a full array of choices, from confidential to totally open adoption. Donors may select a family based on preferred characteristics or they may choose the adoptive family from non-identifying family profiles. Bethany follows a policy of disclosure, which includes providing the donors with a written profile of the adoptive family that may or may not include identifying information, based on family preferences.
Can donors choose to remain anonymous?
Yes. Bethany offers a full range of openness and relationship options, with the donors’ preference taking first priority. Donors may choose an adoptive family that meets their preferences.
Is there a cost for couples to donate their embryos?
The donating couple has no costs. Adoptive parents pay for all expenses associated with blood work and medical testing that may be required by the FDA, necessary medical consultation, and the embryo(s) transfer to the adopting family’s medical facility. Adoptive families may also pay for any laboratory storage fees that may occur between the time the donation application was accepted and the release of the embryos for adoption.
Do donors receive any payments for their embryos?
No. However, donors may be reimbursed for any costs incurred related to blood work that may be required of the donors prior to donation. Donors may also be reimbursed for laboratory storage costs between the time of the donation application acceptance and the matching and physical transfer of the embryos to the adoptive family’s medical facility or care.
Does Bethany place limits on accepting embryos for donation based on the length of time that they have remained frozen?
Healthy children have been born from embryos that were frozen for more than 12 years. Bethany accepts embryos for donation regardless of how long they have been in a cyropreserved state.
Does Bethany limit the embryos accepted for donation based on their medical grading status or the stage of their development?
Based on the experience of the medical teams with which Bethany works, embryos of different stages, ages, and grades have resulted in successful pregnancies and healthy births. Therefore, Bethany accepts all donated embryos regardless of age, medical grading status, or stage of development. Bethany will attempt to locate an adoptive family for every embryo, regardless of potential or known health status. During the selection process, Bethany discloses to potential adoptive families any known information regarding the embryos’ health, grading, or stage status.
What if donor sperm or donor eggs were used to create the embryos?
Bethany accepts embryos created with donor sperm and/or eggs. Certain medical requirements may be required to safeguard against communicable diseases. Blood testing and/or records of such testing related to a donor may be required before an adoption can occur. Bethany follows a disclosure policy regarding the information that is provided to the adoptive family and related to the genetic and medical history of the embryo(s).
What medical testing may be required of the donating couple?
The FDA requires blood testing to screen and prevent the possible spread of any potential communicable disease. The required blood testing may include: antibodies to HIV I and HIV II; antibodies to HTLV I and II; Hepatitis; HbsAG; antibodies to hepatitis B and C; E core antibody; Syphilis, VDRL and/or FTA; blood type; and Rh factor. Additional testing may be deemed medically necessary by the adopting or donating couple’s medical doctor.
Why is a donor profile requested?
A donor profile provides non-identifying information (unless direct openness is agreed to) related to the donors’ social, educational, professional, medical, and family history. It includes information related to gifts and talents, and physical (i.e., hair and eye color) and personality characteristics. This information is helpful for both the adoptive parents and (in the future) for any child who is born because it provides a thorough genetic history.
Is it possible for donors to write a letter to the adoptive couple and/or any future child(ren) who may be born?
A personalized letter is always welcome and helpful. It allows the donors to share information about why they chose to make a donation decision. Because most donation decisions involve a deep sense of care and feelings of love for the child, letters offer an opportunity to address current and possible future questions. As with traditional infant adoption, letters received from a birthparent are often highly valued and deeply appreciated by both adoptive parents and (later) the adoptee.
What kind of contact is possible with the donors following a pregnancy or the birth of our child?
Based on the wishes of both the donors and adoptive family, the amount of contact could be varied based on individual agreement. Some families will choose to remain in frequent contact and may enjoy sharing the progress of a pregnancy as well as the child’s growth and development following birth. This contact could consist of exchanged letters, e-mail, phone calls, pictures, etc. Information could also be exchanged directly, through confidential mediums, such as public blog sites of which each party has knowledge. Exchanges of information and contact could also occur through an intermediary, such as Bethany. Some families choose to provide communication through written updates and pictures that are sent for inclusion in the adoption file for possible sharing and distribution at a later date.
What is the process for donating embryos through Bethany?
- Bethany’s embryo services specialist contacts the donors and is available at any time throughout the process to answer questions and to provide consultation and any counseling that may be necessary or requested.
- Donors complete a donor profile and medical information application form (link to form).
- Bethany arranges for any blood tests that may be needed (at no cost to the donors). Contact with the donors’ fertility clinic is completed following their signature requesting the release of their medical records and results of all infectious disease blood tests. If sperm or egg donations were used to create the embryos, copies of contracts for such are gathered, as are the infectious disease screens for those donors.
- A donor family profile is completed. Donors will be invited to include any pictures of their family and letters to the adoptive family or to any future children as part of this profile. Bethany will provide assistance as donors prepare and complete this profile.
- Donors will determine the adoptive family characteristics or preferences they may require. They will also be asked to decide if they would like any openness/contact or exchange of information with the family after the adoption.
- Next, with input from both the donors and the adoptive parents, the selection process occurs.
- Donors will be offered adoptive parent profiles to review, which meet their stated preferences.
- After the adoptive family has been tentatively selected, they will receive a donor profile. If the adoptive family also accepts, the donation and adoption will be facilitated.
- Bethany helps make arrangements for the transfer of the donated embryos and provides the donation/legal release forms. The donors sign release paperwork provided by their medical clinic, authorizing the release of the embryos to the adoptive family’s medical clinic.
- Donors sign a contract releasing their embryos for adoption by the adoptive family.
- The donors’ rights to the embryos are ended at that time. Bethany works with the medical facilities to transfer the embryos.
- Bethany provides the donors with updates, as previously agreed to, during the course of the pregnancy and birth.
- Support and referrals for ongoing services are available to the donors at any time.
What donation support services does Bethany offer?
The release of embryos for donation and adoption can be emotionally difficult. Bethany understands the issues and feelings donors may face in making this important decision. For that reason, we offer the following types of support for donating couples:
THE LAW
Does adoption law apply to embryo donation and adoption?
No. Adoption law applies only to the release and adoption of a child following birth.
Legally, what is involved in the donation of an embryo for adoption?
Embryo donation and adoption is governed by contract law and all federal, state, and local laws as may apply. In addition, regulations by the United States Food and Drug Administration related to human tissue donation are applicable. A contract is signed and notarized by the donating couple authorizing the donation and adoption. Once the Informed Consent Agreement Regarding Donation has been signed, the donors have no legal claim to either the embryo(s) or any children who may be born as a result of the donation, nor do they hold any responsibility for the embryos or any future children who may be born as the result of the donation.
Are there any state or federal laws regulating embryo donation and adoption?
At present, the Food and Drug Administration has implemented mandates that are meant to protect the spread of communicable disease as the result of donated human tissue, including that found within embryo donation and adoption. In addition, some states have restrictions related to the transfer of embryos from one state to another. Contract law is used to govern embryo donation and adoption at the present time.
Can donors change their minds once they have signed the agreement?
No. The Informed Consent Agreement Regarding Donation is legally binding at the time the release is signed, and all rights are forever relinquished.
Do donor couples have any rights or responsibilities to any children born following a donation?
No. Once the release is signed, the donors hold no responsibility for the embryos or any children who may be born as a result of their donation.
Legally, what is the relationship between the adoptive parent and any child(ren) who are born following embryo donation?
At the time of birth, the adoptive couple is fully recognized as the legal parent to any children that are born. The mother who physically gives birth is recognized as the child(ren)’s legal mother, and the man to whom she is married at the time of pregnancy and birth is recognized as the legal father of the child(ren). These individuals are noted as the legal mother and legal father on the child(ren)’s birth certificate.
The Adoption Process
How long does the adoption process take?
Typically, a Home Study can be completed in 12 to 24 weeks. Once a Home Study has been approved, then the matching process will begin. The matching process is governed by the number of embryos available for donation, the requests and requirements being sought by the donor couple, and the possibility of matching the donors’ requests with those of the adopting couple. The length of the matching process is not easily predicted.
What is the process for adopting embryos through Bethany?
Adoptive couples:
- Complete the Preliminary Application that is available online at www.bethany.org or by contacting your local Bethany office or 616.574.7939.
- Complete a Home Study.
- Complete an Openness Plan.
- Complete a Medical Evaluation.
- Complete an Adoptive Family Profile.
- Are matched or paired with an embryo donor family.
- Facilitation of Legal Release and Adoption
- Transfer of the embryo(s) to the physician of the adoptive family. The embryo(s) are implanted in the womb of the adoptive mother.
1. What are the medical requirements for an adoptive family?
The adopting mother must be healthy and able to physically undergo medical preparation and transfer procedures and be able to carry a baby to term. A medical assessment is necessary.
What is involved in the home study process?
The Home Study process involves seven distinct parts:
- Completion of documentation
- Joint and individual interviews
- Home visits
- Criminal and child abuse background checks
- References
- Assessment of personality, character, marital relationship, financial stability, family relationships, and readiness for parenting
- Education related to the specialized characteristics associated with raising an adopted child
How will a medical clinic be selected?
Bethany has established referral relationships with several medical clinics across the U.S. that specialize in embryo donation and adoption. The doctors in these clinics are Board Certified Endocrinologists with specialization in the area of Assisted Reproductive Medicine. They also employ highly trained embryologists and have geared their medical services to accommodate the unique specializations related to embryo donation and adoption procedures.
It is possible for an adoptive couple to work with a medical clinic or doctor of their choosing if the clinic provides or can accommodate embryo donation and adoption services. Because this is a highly specialized area, Bethany has developed a helpful guide to assist adoptive families when assessing and selecting their medical care provider.
How are the embryos sent to our medical clinic?
Upon legal release, the embryos are shipped directly from their storage facility to the medical facility of the adoptive parents. The embryos are shipped in a dry shipper, which consists of a tank filled with liquid nitrogen that keeps the embryos frozen during transportation.
Will it be necessary to travel to receive needed medical services?
Traveling may be required if the adoptive couple chooses to work with a medical provider outside of their residence area. In most situations, travel would be limited to no more than one or two trips, with each trip ranging from 24 to 48 hours in length. Because each medical situation is unique, an individualized plan should be developed for each adoptive couple based on their medical needs and the medical practice with which they choose to work.
What post-adoption and post-birth services will Bethany provide?
- Following transfer, the adoptive family will remain in contact with Bethany to provide updates about the success of the transfer and any pregnancy that may result following the transfer.
- Bethany will provide support, counseling assistance, and referrals, as necessary, to meet the varied needs of an adoptive family related to success of the transfer, pregnancy, etc.
- The adoptive family will contact Bethany following the birth of their child(ren). Following birth, the adoption specialist will meet with the adoptive family at least once within the first three months. A written report will be prepared and shared with the donors, as requested. This visit will also serve as a time of contact, support, and education for the adoptive family as they celebrate and adjust to their new role as parents.
- Adoptive families are encouraged to write a letter to the donors following the birth and to include pictures. This information will be forwarded to the donors (if requested), contained within the agency file, and shared at a later date, if this is what both families agreed to do.
How should we tell our child(ren) about their adoption?
Bethany provides education, counseling, and support to adoptive families, donors, and the children to assist the families with determining the appropriate time and manner for sharing this information.
Why should we tell our child(ren) about their adoption?
While there are differing professional and personal viewpoints related to this question, it is Bethany’s position that children both deserve and have the right to know about their genetic origins. Reflecting on the field of infant adoption, it has been determined that keeping a child’s genetic origin a secret typically results in confusion and possible mistrust when the truth is discovered.
It is essential that children who are born through embryo donation and adoption have access to their medical histories and records. By sharing this information, the adoptive couple is safeguarding the child’s short- and long-term health needs, thus allowing the doctor treating their child to have a complete picture related to genetic predisposition, etc.
What will happen to the embryos if we do not use all of them?
In your adoptive couple informed consent agreement, you acknowledge that it is your intent to use the donated embryos for no other purpose than attempting to achieve a pregnancy. You also affirm that it is your intention not to eliminate, harm, or reduce the number of embryos you adopt, whether the embryos are in a state of cryopreservation or developing during pregnancy. If it is not possible to medically transfer any or all of the embryos in an attempt to achieve a pregnancy—for medical or other reasons—then you (the adoptive family) will make arrangements through Bethany to donate the embryos to another adoptive family (or families) attempting to achieve a pregnancy.
Adoption support services
The release of embryos for donation and adoption can be emotionally difficult.
Bethany understands the issues and feelings donors may face in making this important decision. For that reason, we offer the following types of support for adopting couples:
For more information Please contact Bethany:
Phone: 616.574.7939
Fax: 616.224.7611
E-mail: embryoservices@bethany.org
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