Story of a Birthmother


Hi, I’m Tamara. I am a 27 year old woman who has truly experienced the way God moves. For the last eight years I have been involved in things I’m not proud of. The choices I made have caused me to be in and out of jail.

In 2007, finally clean and sober, I changed my way of life and moved back home. The only problem was that I was not sober-minded. While I did things to make myself look good on the outside, I was still hurting on the inside. With time I was back on the streets, making old choices that landed me back in jail . . . and pregnant.

Lost, alone, and in jail, I could not keep a child. So I set my mind on getting an abortion. I went into that clinic so sure of what needed to be done. I filled out the paperwork and found out that I was 18 weeks along. I was carrying a life. That did not stop me. I could not have this child. Then I went into a room and watched this movie that showed and told me exactly what and how it would happen. I left that office still making another appointment to return.

The next week I was standing at the door waiting for the clinic to open when I felt the movement that I had been trying to pay no attention to. What did I really think I was doing? I could not end the life of this living being I had created! I then walked out of the clinic with a sense of hope, yet still confused. I called child protection and explained my situation. The very nice woman on the phone told me that it would be much better to go through an adoption service rather than placing my child in the system. With some help I chose two services.

I made the calls explaining myself. I met with both agency representatives, Bethany Christian Services being one of them. At first I was overwhelmed. I gathered and read all of the available packets and other information. I knew that I needed to do this. I needed to give this life a chance. I then started looking at the profiles of families that wanted to adopt a child. As I looked at these pictures and stories, my heart went out to all the women that could not have children of their own.

One couple’s profile stood out to me a lot. Marlene, from Bethany Christian Services of MN, set up a time for us to meet. The time finally came and I felt totally at peace as we sat and talked. They were happy and in love. The only thing that was missing was a child. I knew after that meeting that they were the ones I wanted to raise my child. After they left I let Marlene know that I had made up my mind about them already.

Being able to tell them that they were going to become parents was a great feeling. Over the next several weeks, together we planned the big day. Every step of the way I could feel God walking side by side with me. A couple was becoming parents and I was giving life.

Finally the moment that we had all been waiting for arrived. To see the glow on their faces was amazing. On each side of me was one of the new parents. As my child came in to the world I knew that I had made the best choice ever.

The days that followed were wonderful, yet at the same time hard. Thanks to a great medical and nursing staff, and Marlene, all of our needs got met. As I held my baby in my arms I looked into his eyes and told him that I loved him. I felt a peace like no other. The days seemed to fly by so fast, and before I knew it, it was time for him to go home. I was torn. That’s when Marlene stepped in and gave me all the support I could have ever asked for.

This October will be a year since I gave life. I have no doubt in my mind or heart that choosing adoption was the best choice in the world. Working with a Christian adoption service was great. I had support in all ways possible.

My words of wisdom to any woman out there who is facing the same situation would be to give life. It is the most loving gift you will ever have to give. You are not alone. There are many support groups and other women that face this same situation everyday.


Tamara