Birthparent FAQ


What if I’m not sure about making an adoption plan? Will you still work with me?
At Bethany, we understand that you are facing one of the most important decisions of your life and you will not be pressured into any decision. The choices are yours to make. A number of the women we meet with decide to parent their child and we are able to connect them with community resources they may need to make their plan a reality. They are able to move more confidently into parenting knowing that they looked at all their options and truly made the choice to parent, rather than feeling like there were no choices before them. Many other women we work with decide that making an adoption plan is the right choice for them, and they are able to move forward confidently as well, again knowing that they thoroughly investigated their options and made a decision that they can live with and be proud of.

What are the laws about adoption in my state?
-Consents cannot be signed by either birthparent until at least 72 hours after the baby’s birth.
-If a birthparent is under the age of 18, their parents must also sign a consent to the adoption.
-Once a consent is signed, the birthparents have 10 working days in which to change their minds for any reason and ask for the child to be returned to them.
-The time between the birth and the end of the 10 working day waiting period is called “legal risk.”
-A birthparent may agree to place her child with an adoptive family directly from the hospital. The adoptive couple will sign a legal risk agreement stating that they understand either birthparent could change their mind during the specified period of time and they would have to return the child without question.
-A birthparent could also place their child in an interim care foster home provided by the agency during the legal risk period to give them the time to think and avoid the pain of asking the adoptive parents to return the child.
-Birthfathers can register with the Father’s Adoption Registry any time before the birth of the child or up to 30 days after the birth.


Types of Adoption
There are many choices in adoption today. You can meet and choose the family. You can receive pictures and letters about the child throughout his/her entire childhood. You can send him/her pictures, letters, and gifts. In many cases, you may visit the child in a neutral location or at his/her home. There is still grief and loss as you relinquish your rights to parent the child. However, you can always know how your child is doing. You can decide whether or not to share identifying/confidential information with the adoptive parents.


Adoption Plans – The Choice is up to You!
At Bethany, we have seen first hand the positive effects of adoption in the lives of many women we have been privileged to assist through their pregnancy. It allows women who do not feel ready to parent the ability to give their baby the gift of life, make a responsible plan for their baby’s well-being, continue pursuing educational and career goals, and learn valuable decision-making skills that will serve them well in the future. Through openness, adoption today offers additional benefits to birthmothers. Some of the openness options available to you through Bethany Christian Services of Minnesota include:

-Selecting the family that you want to adopt your child
-Meeting the family that you choose for your child, before and after your child’s birth
-Receiving pictures of and updates on your child after the adoption takes place
-Having post-adoption visits with your child and the parents you have chosen for him/her
-Exchanging identifying information with your child’s adoptive parents or using Bethany as an intermediary if you wish to maintain your privacy
-Arranging ongoing visits (either through Bethany or directly) with your child and his/her family after placement.

With Bethany, you choose the level of openness that is right for you. You also have choices when it comes to your time in the hospital. Once you have determined what kind of adoption plan is right for you, your Bethany Birthparent Counselor will work with you to find a family waiting to adopt that also wants the same amount of openness in their relationship with you. You can begin immediately looking at the profiles of some of our waiting families. We also have wonderful waiting families whose profiles are not on our web site that you can learn about when you meet with your Birthparent Counselor. We have a diverse range of families waiting to adopt who are excited about meeting you and adopting infants of all ethnic backgrounds. If you are concerned that your baby may have some special needs, possibly due to prenatal exposure to drugs or alcohol, or conditions in your own medical or social history, talk with your Birthparent Counselor. She will help you find a family open to parenting a child with possible special needs and giving your baby all the love he or she needs to thrive and live a happy life.

Support After Adoption
Adoption is a loving choice that offers positive benefits to you and your child. It also includes aspects of sadness and loss. This is normal and is a part of handling an unexpected pregnancy. No matter what plan you make for your baby, there are things you will gain and things you will lose. As a part of your adoption planning process you and your Birthparent Counselor can talk about the kinds of normal losses involved in adoption, what kinds of sadness may follow upon saying goodbye to your baby, and how to take care of yourself now and in the future so that you feel prepared for the healing process. We also offer post-adoption counseling as long as it is needed, as well as the opportunity to meet with someone who has already made an adoption plan. These post-adoption services are available to you, free of charge, if you would like to include them as part of your plan.

At the Hospital
-You will create a hospital plan prior to delivery in order to inform everyone involved of your wishes.
-You will be able to hold, feed, and bond with the baby.
-If you prefer, you may choose to have the baby spend some of the time in the nursery, especially when you are asleep.
-You may name the baby or choose to write the name the adoptive parents have chosen on the birth certificate.
-You may have the adoptive parents visit you and the baby while in the hospital, or you may request that they not see you or the baby until discharge from the hospital.
-Upon discharge from the hospital your Birthparent Counselor will have you sign paperwork that allows the baby to go home with the adoptive family, if that is your wish. You may still change your mind at this point.
-If you are uncertain about your adoption plan upon discharge and desire more time, Bethany can provide a safe, interim care home for your baby while you make a decision.
-You may choose to have a placement ceremony as a way to bless your decision.
-You may choose to leave the hospital before, after, or at the same time as the adoptive family.
-Your Birthparent Counselor will support you during this difficult time.