International Adoption Stories
Our adoption journey started before my husband, Chris, and I were even married. While talking about our dreams for the future, we both shared our desire to have a large family. We both had experiences with adoption through family and friends, so it seemed natural to us to increase the size of our family through birth and adoption.
After thirteen years, and being blessed with four birth children, we began praying about starting the adoption process. Jessica, Anthony, Truman and Gabrielle had always heard that adoption was a part of our dreams, and so the step toward making it finally happen made them very excited. Unfortunately, knowing that it was a long process was the hard part for them and us. So we prayed for God to grow us in the area of patience. We also began praying for God's direction about which agency to choose to help us, and He was faithful in allowing us to meet a couple from our church who had adopted through Bethany Christian Services. They were very pleased with their experience and recommended that we attend an informational meeting. The meeting was very helpful in our decision about which country we should pursue. We made the decision to adopt from the Philippines because of the fact that Chris is part Filipino, the program was moderate in cost, and the Philippines has a history of providing extensive referral information.
Based on our program preference and our experience with the staff while at the meeting, choosing Bethany Christian Services became easy and quite clear at that point. We felt that we would be in good hands.
We then began the longest and most frustrating part of our journey - the paperwork. It took us one year to fill out all of our paperwork due to some roadblocks along the way. One major roadblock was in dealing with government agencies that lost or misplaced our paperwork. And another was the psychological report that took three months for us to receive. All along the way our adoption specialist was supportive and compassionate about our frustrations.
At long last, we were able to send our finished dossier to the Philippines. We were all really happy to move on to the next stage of waiting for a referral. We were preparing ourselves for a long wait but we were to be surprised much sooner. After only four months, our adoption specialist called to say that she had some great news. And it was the greatest news that we could get at the time, we had been given a referral for a ten-month-old boy named Augustine Giles. I listened, wrote notes, cried and couldn't wait to see his picture. Soon, we had the referral, picture and paperwork in our hands. How great it was to finally have a name and face for our prayers and dreams. Our hearts were on the way to being forever connected to this little boy.
With another large roadblock due to paperwork being misplaced on a desk at a government office, we waited six more months before we could travel to the Philippines to meet Augustine. This was a frustrating time since we were so anxious to hold our son, but we waited and prayed for God's perfect timing.
We were so excited on the day we were given the news that we could travel to get Augustine. We quickly made all of the arrangements to travel. Chris and I were making the trip alone, so we left the kids with family while we went to bring their little brother home. Within a week, we were being driven from the airport to the Children's Shelter of Cebu, Philippines to meet our son. I can't describe with words the anticipation and excitement that we felt at this moment. When we arrived, we were getting out of the car, and I heard a woman's voice behind me say, "There is your Daddy and Mommy." I turned and saw my beautiful baby. Crying and reaching out to him, he allowed me take him into my arms right away. He was a little uncomfortable and stiff but he still stayed and studied my face closely. He had been shown pictures of us for several months and he was trying to figure why I looked familiar. Later, when he held the pictures in his hands, he pointed at me in the photo and then turned to look at me with eyes of recognition. I am grateful that he was given the opportunity to begin the bonding process before I was physically able to be with him.
The next few days were a whirlwind of getting to know our son, and being given the story of Augustine's first 17 months. The staff at the Children's Shelter of Cebu welcomed us with open arms and provided us with answers to questions we had about Augustine. They even took us to meet significant people and visit significant places in his life like the hospital where he was born and his current doctor. What a blessing it is to have pictures of those people and places to know and tell his story more completely. During our visit it became very clear that Augustine was well loved and cared for by the staff and the other children at CSC. It was a very emotional parting for all of us.
We soon found ourselves getting off of the plane at home with a large group of waiting family and friends. There were even curious strangers waiting to find out what the banners, balloons and excitement were about. Augustine gave them the most beautiful smile in greeting and won their hearts immediately.
At first when Augustine came home, everything was new to him - even his own family and home. He was very quiet sometimes while he just sat back and watched. And at other times, he was a bundle of energy and fun. As time went by and he began to bond more and more with our family, he overcame several hurdles. He became more comfortable with being out of my arms, grew closer to Chris, was able to be left in the care of others and began sleeping in his own bed. We had the support of BCS, our family and our friends during this time of change and growth. After three months, Augustine showed that he had truly come home in his heart. And now that he has been home for a year, it feels like he has always been a part of our family. He clearly belongs here in our home and in our hearts. People often say to us that he is blessed to be a part of our family, and our response is that we are the ones who are blessed to have such a beautiful, healthy and happy son.
My husband Marty and I had been trying to start a family for years. We went through numerous tests and procedures and knew that our chances of conceiving were really slim. It wasn’t until after our failed in vitro that we really started focusing on adoption, which had always been an option for us, just not one that we were ready to pursue. At that point we felt that God was leading us toward adoption and knew it was the right time to start the process.
I spent days on the Internet looking at various agencies in our area and reading anything and everything I found on adoption. Marty and I attended informational meetings at two different agencies, one of them being Bethany. The meetings helped us so much in the decision as to whether to adopt domestically or internationally. We both agreed that international adoption would be the best for us. When we attended the informational meeting at Bethany, we felt so comfortable with the staff, unlike the other agency we visited, and walked away knowing they would be the agency we would use. Within a couple days we had the application filled out and were on our way to adopting a child.
We took time to consider Bethany’s programs and decided to adopt from China. Our paperwork and adoption process for China went very smoothly. On June 16, 2004 we received a referral for our daughter Marissa Ann LiZhen who was 16 months old at the time. Once we saw her pictures in our referral packet, we knew that adoption was the best decision that we had ever made. There are no words to describe how it feels to look at a picture of your new child for the first time after longing for a family for so many years.
We left for China six weeks after our referral. There were ten families in our referral group and all of them have become an extended part of our family. There is a bond that is created with those that you travel with and we will cherish this bond forever. Our daughter is just the best little girl. She has grown so much both physically and emotionally over the last six months. I have read where some feel that you miss out on so many “firsts” when you adopt an older child (Marissa was 18 months old when we adopted her). But we have found that even though the child is a little older, you still experience all of those “firsts”: the first steps, the first word, the first smile, etc. Everyday is a new experience with Marissa. It has been amazing to see her grow up so much in a short amount of time. She has impacted our lives greatly and has brought so much joy into our family. She is such a perfect fit with our family that it seems like she’s been with us forever. In looking back at the whole process, I can now see where God impacted this adoption so many different times. It is amazing the miracles he performs and we thank Him everyday for the perfect gift he has given to us.
All of the staff at Bethany have been wonderful throughout our adoption process. Bethany’s adoption coordinator in China is absolutely awesome and we would not have wanted anyone except her helping us while we were in China. Marissa’s adoption has been the best experience of our lives and we can’t wait to return.