The Williams' Story


The Williams' Story
by Jimi and Jennifer Williams

All the Little Children of the World**
Jesus loves the little children
All the children of the world
Red, brown, yellow, black and white,
They are precious in His sight
Jesus loves the little children of the world1

What a beautiful picture of God’s kingdom on earth. Where all people are equal before God, regardless of race, woven together in a rich tapestry of color. Equality is at the heart of God. For God made man in His image. We are all from the first family of Adam and Eve. We are all of one blood. Yet, God chose to make His creation unique by giving us an array of color – in skin, hair, eyes, language, and personality. Although individually unique, Jesus makes no difference. He truly loves all the little children of the world. In Mark 10:14, Jesus said, “Let the little children come to Me. Don't stop them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.”2

The words to this preschool song speak to the heart of Christian families who have adopted children of a different race or ethnic background as well. Jesus’ unconditional love becomes real. Transracial adoption blends the colors of God’s kingdom into a family without overlooking the beauty of each member.

Our Story
At the beginning of our adoption process, the term “transracial adoption” was unfamiliar to us. While completing our paperwork, we were asked the question: “What race child will you consider?” Consider? Did we have a choice? How could we accept a child of a certain race and reject another?

My husband and I began to pray for God to clearly show us the answer through His Word. Acts 17:26 says, “From one man He has made every nation of men to live all over the earth...” And, in John 13:34, Jesus said, "I give you a new commandment: love one another. Just as I have loved you, you should also love one another.” 3 Scripture after Scripture clearly confirmed to us that God creates all and He truly loves all. It was clear that He desired for us to do the same.

With our decision clearly confirmed, we proceeded with the adoption process completely open to whatever child God had planned for our family. Within a short time after completing our paperwork, we received a call from our adoption agency that an African American little boy was being placed for adoption. His birthmother had chosen our Caucasian family. Within the short period of a few weeks, we brought Elijah home to his forever family.

The Questions
Knowing that God was leading our family to adopt regardless of race, we immediately began to ask questions, gather information, and learn the meaning and implications of transracial adoption. We discovered that whether the child is bi-racial, African American, Asian, Native American, or any other race or ethnicity, it is important to build the child’s unique identity while you are building family unity. It is fundamental for children to understand who they are, from what heritage and history they came, and why that is important.

A number of secular resources are available that address transracial adoption issues. However, when God is leading and guiding, the story is often different. Therefore, I decided to survey other Christian families who have adopted children of other races. From the survey results, I learned that as children grow older they do have questions. Most families say the adoption questions begin around age five when most children begin to ask, “Where do babies come from?” That question opens the door for many others. If parents have not discussed adoption with their child previously, this is a great opportunity to begin.

As with most parents surveyed, my husband and I have decided to answer the questions as they arise. We have not yet shared every detail of Elijah’s adoption story with him. As children mature, their questions become more specific and probing and their understanding and ability to process the answers mature as well.

So what questions do they ask? Here are just a few from the survey:

What does my birth mom look like? Why do I look different than the rest of the family? Where was I born? Do I have to marry a person of my own race? Why is my skin brown and your skin light? Why do they call me black when I am brown? Are there other families like mine? Do my birthparents think of me? Why is my hair different than my friends? Will I ever meet my birthparents? Does race really matter?

Questions could also arise regarding clothes, food, language, history and traditions. Parents should be prepared to answer. Their responses ultimately begin to form the child’s racial and ethnic identity at an early age.

Creative Solutions
As an adoptive parent, you should begin by educating your children about other races and cultures. Take an inventory of your own home. What books are on your shelf, especially children’s books? Do your children read stories about other kids all around the world? Do you teach them about the history of their race or culture? Do you watch
movies that depict others from different races? What art is displayed in your home? What music do you listen to? Many great resources exist today to educate your children about other cultures whether adopted or biological.

Bethany Christian Services was helpful in providing us with information regarding transracial adoption. Our local agency also offers support group meetings to discuss important racial and ethnic issues. These meeting provide practical and helpful parenting information.

Beyond books and classes, many families can prayerfully make decisions that will connect their children with others racially or ethnically. Having the opportunity to interact regularly with people from different races is important in transracial adoption. Friendships will develop and facilitate racial identity naturally. These relationships give parents the opportunity to ask questions from others of the same race as the adopted child.

According to our surveyed families, here are some specific ways to build those relationships:

-Move to a multi-cultural neighborhood
-Choose a multi-cultural church
-Seek teachers and coaches of the same race
-Choose doctors, dentists and other professionals of the same race
-Choose a hairstylist that specializes in your child’s hair type
-Enroll children in classes to learn their native language
-Join an adoption support group
-Connect with a mentor of the same race

The survey results clearly show that Christian families truly trust God to lead and guide them in developing their child’s racial or ethnic identity. Most of the families do not place the emphasis on the differences. Instead, they focus on the common threads that bind their family together, the greatest of which is love.

Expectations
In a perfect world people are colorblind and race doesn’t matter. Unfortunately, we do not live in a perfect world. Race still matters to most. Racism is real and it can be a challenge for some families that adopt transracially. By and large, our family, friends, and community have been supportive of our multiracial family. Yet, we have still experienced the unusually long stares and peculiar questions.

I will never forget shopping at our local farmer’s market. As I was paying for my produce, the cashier looked at my two children and asked, “Are you babysitting today?” I responded with a smile, “Nope, they are mine!” As I left, she was still trying to figure
out our family. You see one is fair with blonde hair and blue eyes, the other brown, with black hair and brown eyes. But, both are unquestionably my precious children!

Our Elijah is now five years old. We have shared some of his adoption story with him. We have read stories of children of all races. Through our adoption agency, we have learned hair and skin care basics. He has the opportunity to play with other children of color in our neighborhood and at church.

Yet, at five, his understanding of his race is limited. In fact, Elijah recently said, “Mom, my hair is just like daddy’s hair – dark and curly.” Right now, he is more focused on the similarities and the connections to our family. As he matures, we know that he will have deeper questions. We understand that he may face situations where he will not be treated equal solely due to his skin color. We trust that God will provide wisdom and grace to respond.

Transracial adoption has been a rewarding experience for our family, giving us more understanding and appreciation for people of different races. Our family has become richer by its diversity. Transracial adoption has opened doors for our family to reach past racial or ethnic division and truly discover the beauty of living color. Red, brown, yellow, black or white there is no difference in His sight. Jesus loves all the little children of the world.

**This article was originally written for ParentLife, a publication of Lifeway Christian Resources. Many Bethany families were interviewed regarding their transracial adoption experience and their responses were included in this article.

1Public Domain

2 Holman Christian Standard Bible © 2001, Broadman & Holman Publishers, Lifeway Christian Resources 127 Ninth Avenue North, Nashville, TN 37234

3 Holman Christian Standard Bible © 2001, Broadman & Holman Publishers, Lifeway Christian Resources 127 Ninth Avenue North, Nashville, TN 37234