China Blog : Archive

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If you are Caucasian and you are adopting from China, did you know that your adoption is considered a trans-racial adoption?  There are many phrases for this type of adoption: cross-cultural, trans-racial, International, etc.  Most often, we hear about black-white adoptions being trans-racial, but in reality, so are adoptions from Asia and Latin America, to name a few.

The adoption crosses many borders, not just geographic ones.  You may be adopting a child of another race, ethnicity, nationality, etc.  What does this mean for your family, your community and your child?  Your family becomes a multi-cultural, multi-racial and multi-ethnic family.  What a beautiful thing!  

Attached are a few articles addressing some of the joys/challenges that trans-racial adoptees and their families may face.  Being an informed and educated parent can prepare you to help your child establish their identity and their place in this world.  Although we are of a strong faith that welcomes all people, not everyone our children/family encounters feels the same way, unfortunately.  As parents, it is our job to protect our children but also provide them with tools and resources to become contributing members to society with a positive self-esteem and self-worth.

Adoptive Families Magazine
Black kids in White Houses
Adoption.Com

 

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The China Team will be featuring some very special COP families throughout 2009.  
We would like to introduce you to a beautiful family from our NJ branch....

A Chinese business woman sitting near my husband, our newly adopted six year old son and me at the Beijing airport commented, “Your son speaks Mandarin well!”  The perception that only infants, let alone males, are available for adoption was pervasive, even in China.

As the biological parents of two teenage daughters, ten years ago we were shocked to learn that we were expecting a son. With our background of working with special needs and underprivileged children, we had been discussing adoption, never dreaming of my having another child at the age of 38.  Fast forward 9 years, with one daughter getting married and the other away at college, our son started asking if he could have a brother.  His loneliness and our realization that he didn’t need to ‘grow old’ with us, made us revisit the idea of adopting.  

A brief internet search led us to Bethany Christian Services. A welcoming conversation with our social worker, Pat, made us comfortable as we became acquainted with the requirements of the adoption process. As we narrowed our search, our concern over being away from our son for a lengthy time, coupled with my husband’s age of 52, made adoption from China the logical choice. Not wanting a large age difference from our son, we requested a little boy 6-8.  

With the completion of our home study in the fall of 2007, we had a referral in February 2008 for a bright-eyed little boy with an impish grin.  Family consensus was a resounding “yes” for the child who had been abandoned with no information in December 2006.  In August permission to travel was received for a September 11 departure.  

As we sat in the adoption office in Zhengzhou, Henan Province, we anxiously waited as two other families tearfully united with their children, both older with special needs.  A few days earlier, our guide in Beijing had been informed by the Social Welfare Institute that Fu Dongsheng “was ready to go”.  A smiling little boy finally arrived, immediately sitting on my lap as he said, “Mama. Baba”. Without looking back, our new son attached himself to us excitedly embracing Cheese-its, Beef Jerky and a portable DVD player.  A photo album of his new siblings, grandparents, home and pets was his prized possession, which he insisted on holding for his official adoption photo.  He entered our home excitedly exploring his photo-memorized surroundings, immediately bonding with our children.

In the three months since David Dongsheng has been part of our family he has gone from using sign language, Mandarin and a few key English phrases to using sentences interspersed with Mandarin.  After a round of doctors’ appointments and an evaluation from the international adoption program at the children’s hospital, in November David gradually entered Kindergarten at our son’s Catholic school.

We have been fortunate to have an interpreter, who emigrated from China 3 years ago, whom we affectionately call “Uncle Joe” to aid us in our journey. The man, who has become a friend, has helped us navigate changes in routine, visits to doctors, cultural differences, and simple misunderstandings via personal visits, the telephone and Skype. Periodic adjustment difficulties, in retrospect, have not been behavioral as much as his coming to terms with his new life. A few weeks ago, following our daughter’s minor surgery, David suddenly started to share who he was. His concern for her welfare triggered memories of his previous life and the death of  “China Mommy”, details that had been quietly and tightly held inside during his time at the Social Welfare Institute.  Several hours of conversation and tears produced his birth name, details of his family, and his happiness with his new family. A special shelf with his hand-picked “pretty flowers”, a collection of decorative candles, a red feathered bird, fruits, flowers and an angel, sits above his bed as a memorial to “China Mommy” who watches him from a “house in the sky”.

David’s journey is not over.  A teary refusal to go to Chuck E Cheese a month ago was his greatest joy yesterday.  We prepare him for changes in routine, gradually introduce new people, read favorite books about China and having two mommies, spend limited amounts of time shopping, and reassure him that we will see him in the morning to avoid his fears of abandonment.  New life is in our home, sometimes trying but definitely rewarding.  As he snuggles with his brother, David’s happy “I love you, Ma-ma. I love you Dad-dy. We’re a happ-y fam-i-ly”  is the highlight of our day.

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Dear Bethany Family,

We regret to inform you that there will not be a Multicultural Festival in 2009.  For the last couple decades, we’ve been Blessed with the resources and volunteers to host this fabulous event for families across the country to unite in Grand Rapids, MI and celebrate their multicultural and adoptive families.  Unfortunately, that is no longer the case.  We hope that your local branch offices can maintain an annual picnic or gathering of some sort.

It has been wonderful to see families gather here in Grand Rapids year after year, particularly our China families as they maintain the tradition of their annual travel group reunions.  It has also been tradition for Shiyan to come in from China every-other-year to visit with families as well.  Shiyan sends her regards to families and wishes everyone well.  

Sincerely,

The China Team
Bethany Christian Services-International
Grand Rapids, MI

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The China "Waiting Child" program (formerly known as COP) is growing!  In the next week or so, our public website will go live featuring approximately 30-40 new referrals of waiting children.  These referrals include two dozen children that our very own Sarah Zuidema (Holland, MI branch) and Patty Jewel (IN branch) visited with last fall in Beijing during a special "Hope of Autumn" program.  Bethany Christian Services was one of five agencies invited to meet with and assess children with special placement needs.  There will also be other exclusive referrals of waiting children from various Provinces around China.  These referrals are exclusive to Bethany and not on the shared portal.  We obtained special permission from CCAA to photo-list and share the children's full referral (medical, social history, photos, etc.) in an effort to help identify qualified families to adopt these precious children.  

Details of the new/exclusive program:
-BCS families with a LID will receive priority in matching
-If no BCS families, we can match children (when possible) with families not yet in the process but whom are willing to work quickly
-There may be a few exceptions for the more "severe referrals" for us to accept families that are LID with other agencies, on a case-by-case basis
-There may be a few exceptions for the more "severe referrals" for us to consider prospective adoptive families who do not fully meet the adoptive criteria of CCAA, on a case-by-case basis
-There may be a few exceptions for the more "severe referrals" for some fee reductions

When the webpage is ready to go live, we will make another announcement!  Families will be able to review referrals online! Stay tuned.  In the meanwhile, the children's referrals are listed in our internal COP Database, by referral.  Our BCS China families will be able to access these referrals through their local social worker, prior to the referrals going live on our website.  Workers, please share these children with your home study approved China families.  External (non-BCS families) inquiries will be handled by our China Team here at BCS-I.

In addition to this new program, we continue to match the waiting children from our CCAA shared portal.  This list of referrals is NOT public and we continue to review and match referrals to families in our current WC program on a daily basis.  The portal program continues to be a success.  Many waiting children have been matched to their forever families and have come home very quickly.

Please join us in prayer for these precious children.... who await their forever families!!!

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