Monday, April 6, 2009: Feature Story ~ Special Needs Adoption
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Making God Laugh and Finding our Daughter
My husband and I were married later in life. We thought, however, that we would beat the “biological clock” and would get pregnant. It didn’t happen. We tried to “make” it happen with some fertility tests and treatments. So many people would tell me “you can always adopt,” when I asked them to pray for us to have a biological baby. For some reason the unsolicited advice did not sit well with me. I believe because it was not yet time for us to find our daughter.
My husband prayed about our desire for a child, and we discussed our marriage promises to be open to the gift of children. We promised to be open to “children” – not necessarily “biological” children. God did a work in our hearts, and we soon both desired to adopt a child – and we both felt our child was in China.
Actually, we both agreed we would adopt a non-special needs, as young as possible child. After all, we were first time parents – of course we ought to start out with an infant. I love the saying – “If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans!” God must have had a good chuckle about our adoption plans. I call the wait for non-special needs child a “blessed wait,” because it allowed us to find our daughter. We did not know there were so many waiting, older children in China. We had thought the need was to find families for healthy infants. With so many families in line for healthy infants, however, we thought we just could not pass by the precious older waiting children. We were waiting for a child, and so many children were waiting for families – why not trust God had a match for us!
We spoke with our dear social worker about our desire to consider a special needs child – but ONLY minor, correctible needs (insert laughter from God). At first we were open to cleft lip and cleft palate, then limb differences and deafness. We had the opportunity to review the file of a 6-year old (gasp!) girl’s file after we were not matched with a few sweet special needs younger children whom we requested. This little gal had severe scoliosis and repaired cleft lip and palate. We received a sobering medical review. We came back to the bottom-line of the review – “with appropriate medical attention JunFen would live a full, active life.” My husband has good medical benefits, and we are blessed with excellent children hospitals near us – we had found our daughter! We were matched!
While we waited for our JunFen, we educated ourselves in the challenges of older child adoptions, learned basic Mandarin parenting phrases and sent lots of care packages to our sweet daughter. I traveled to China alone as my husband is not an international traveler. I prepared for a tough transition – but was blessed with an incredibly smooth one. She is a delight and a perfect fit for us. We often comment how her goofiness and sense of humor so matches my husband’s personality! We have some challenging surgeries ahead, but we know God has given us the desire of our hearts – and He will be with us in each stage of our family life together. You can visit our website documenting our adoption at Family Blog
*Please keep this family in your prayers as precious JunFen is currently going through extended hospitalization for some medical procedures. The China Team thanks this family for generously sharing their family in an effort to help find forever families for more children with special needs.
