Colombia Adoption Blog

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This year, Mother's Day is Sunday, May 10th... HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL MOTHER'S AND ALL MOTHER'S-TO-BE!                                 ..... although not officially on the calendar as a holiday, did you know the Saturday before Mother's Day is celebrated among the adoption community as "Birth-Mother's Day?" A "BirthMother/First Mother" is the name given to a woman who conceives and biologically gives birth to a child who is relinquished or placed for adoption. The adoption constellation involves many people (extended family, support, etc), but the triad consists of three points.  The three-points of the triad are: the child, the Adoptive Mother (or Adoptive Family) and the BirthMother (or BirthFamily), in no particular order.  Without one of these "points" the triad would not exist.  The relationship among the three sides is inter-related and inter-dependent.  All three sides of the triangle are of equal length.  All three should be celebrated equally!  Many Christians believe that as we are all God's adopted children, this adoption triad metaphor reflects the Trinity of our Father. What are some ways that we as adoptive families can honor our child's BirthMother?  Internationally adopted children with little to no information about their BirthFamily oftentimes "fantasize" about where they come from and who their BirthFamily is.  In adoptive families that openly discuss the child's birth-country, BirthParents, and birth-culture, the children as adults report having a more positive self-esteem and self-worth.  Some parents encourage their children to write a letter to their BirthMom/BirthDad on these special days or even their own birthdays.  What is most important to remember is that each child has their own feelings about their BirthParents.  As Adoptive Parents, the best we can do is provide a safe and open place for discussion. Different ways to "honor" or "celebrate" birthparents: -Light a candle on special days. -Say a prayer for them. -Make a special page in the child's Lifebook to celebrate the BirthParent(s). -Write a letter to your child's BirthParent(s) and put it aside to share with your child later. -Write a letter/make a card jointly with your child for the BirthParent(s). -Read age appropriate books together. -Talk about what the BirthParents may look like. -Celebrate unique talents that the child may have... and attribute them to the BirthParent(s). Some adoptive families may not be comfortable talking about the child's BirthFamily or adoption.  Your child will perceive this level of being uncomfortable and may learn to be ashamed or fearful of the discussion.  In order to build a healthy relationship that is based on trust, it is important to be open with your child about their adoption.  If these discussions are open and supported from the beginning, your child will grow to learn that their adoption is celebrated, not hidden.  Your child will be proud to be adopted and will be able to honor their BirthParent's with Thanksgiving! The book I Wish for You a Beautiful Life (Yeong & Yeong Book Company; ISBN 0-9638472-3-6) is a compilation of letters from Korean BirthMother's to their relinquished children.  Each letter is very unique and provides a glimpse of the different cultures and emotions that this choice has created, related to separation and detachment that a BirthMother may experience and/or express in writing. As a Mother (whether through birth or adoption) of a child... whether your child is with you, with God, living in China or yet to be born... Bethany Christian Services and the Colombia Team wish you a warm and loving "Happy Mother's Day."  We also keep in prayer the BirthMother's that give Life to these precious children and love them enough to want for them, what they cannot provide.  These women too, should be celebrated, honored, and given Thanksgiving.  Their struggles and choices are immeasurable and we may never know them, but we do know them in our hearts.  We pray that they are safe, loved and at Peace.   *In this Blog Post, we use the term "BirthMother" to refer to the woman who conceived and birthed the child whom was then adopted.  There are other terms such as: "First Mother" or "Biological Mother" or "Genetic Mother" to name a few.  The PC world of language and adoption is sensitive and we mean no offense to any particular term mentioned or not mentioned.

Posted by Susan M. Dykema At 08:51:17 AM Location | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

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The Advisory Committee on Immunization Practices which advises the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recommends that all families adopting internationally obtin the hepatitis A vaccination. For more information you can check out www.cdc.gov/travel/travel.html .

Posted by Susan M. Dykema At 09:31:37 AM Location | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

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There are approximately 143 million orphans in the world today. Many children are older, or a sibling group. Some children have medical, physical or developmental challenges. We aren't asking you to help 143 million orphans, but you can make a difference by being a Bethany Prayer Warrior. Prayer Warriors will receive pictures and information of children waiting through Bethany. We ask that you pray for the children. Pray for families who are willing to accept the children with special placement needs into their hearts and homes. Pray for those who will never be adopted. May someone come into their life and love and care for them. Each of us is part of the Body of Christ. It is He in us that is more than able to make a difference. If you want to be added to the Prayer Warrior group and receive emails about waiting children, please send an email to: jvandyke@bethany.org

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Category Colombia adoptions
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We recognize that most, if not all receiving this email have already committed to an adoption.  Congratulations on taking that step toward adoption!  As an ethical child placement agency, it is also our responsibility to encourage families to look realistically at the big picture.  Adoption is a lifelong process that does not end when the child is placed into your loving arms.  As you prepare to become an international adoptive family, please consider praying about and discussing the following 20 questions addressed in this newspaper article from the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel :

http://www.jsonline.com/story/index.aspx?id=527773

1. Am I willing to be turned into the parent the child needs me to be?
2. What is my motivation to adopt?
3. What kind of adoption am I comfortable with, and how much can I spend?
4. How long can I wait?
5. If infertility has led me to adoption, have I resolved those issues, realizing they may never completely go away, and allowed myself to grieve?
6. Am I ready to be an open book?
7. What are my adoption expectations?
8. How will I talk with my kids about adoption?
9. How do I feel about educating myself on adoption issues, and educating others along the way?
10. Are there medical and mental health professionals in my community skilled in handling adoption issues?
11. How will I handle issues specifically related to adoption?
12. Am I willing to connect my child with his/her heritage if it's different than mine?
13. Am I comfortable not knowing all the details of my child's past, including medical histories?
14. How much support will my extended family give?
15. Can I handle heartbreak and disappointment?
16. Can I lean on others?
17. Are you ready for anything?
18. Am I willing to let my child take me on a journey instead of imposing my expectations on him/her?                
19. Do I believe love isn't the be-all, end-all?                                                                                                                
20. Can I go the distance?

If you would like to discuss or have concerns with any of these questions, please contact your social worker.

Posted by Susan M. Dykema At 03:50:31 PM Location | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Category Colombia adoptions
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Attention All Colombian Adoptive Families or Waiting to Adopt a Colombian Child...

Mark your calendars for this summer's Annual Colombian Connection!  It will be held on Saturday, July 18, 2009 in Muskegon, MI.  For more information or to RSVP contact Kristi at kristivandermaas@sbcglobal.net

Posted by Susan M. Dykema At 11:15:21 AM Location | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

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Dear Bethany Family, We regret to inform you that there will not be a Multicultural Festival in 2009.  For the last couple decades, we’ve been Blessed with the resources and volunteers to host this fabulous event for families across the country to unite in Grand Rapids, MI and celebrate their multicultural and adoptive families.  Unfortunately, that is no longer the case.  We hope that your local branch offices can maintain an annual picnic or gathering of some sort. It has been wonderful to see families gather here in Grand Rapids year after year, particularly our China families as they maintain the tradition of their annual travel group reunions.  It has also been tradition for Shiyan to come in from China every-other-year to visit with families as well.  Shiyan sends her regards to families and wishes everyone well.   Sincerely, The Colombia Team Bethany Christian Services-International Grand Rapids, MI

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During the month of January, we had one family travel to Colombia to receive an older child.

ICBF and Bethany are committed to providing the best families for children. Families desiring to adopt an older child or children need to be very prepared to adopt an older child through reading, trainings, exploring outside resources, attending support groups, knowing or learning some Spanish, connecting with other adoptive families. There are many resources in the local communities, your local Bethany office, or through Bethany's website of resources. A couple of books to consider are:

Risk and Promise: a handbook for parents adopting a child from overseas by Chasnoff, Schwartz, Pratt, Neuberger
Parenting the Hurt Child by Keck and Kupecky
Our Own: Adopting and Parenting the Hurt Child by Trish Maskew

We would love families to give suggestions of other books or resources that have been helpful to them. This can include resources particular to Colombia culture or older child adoptions.

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As of April 2008 the United States began processing adoptions with Colombia as a Hague Convention country. Currently there are some families who will be processed under the I-600 and others under the I-800. Families who receive immigration approval under the I-800A form need to be aware of additional steps that need to take place in the US and Colombia prior to being able to travel to receive their child/children. Since the I-800 is a new process, time frames are still unknown though the family should plan that the process may take 2-3 months before they are allowed to travel to Colombia. A family may not travel to Colombia until visa clearance has been issued by the US Embassy in Colombia. If a family travels to Colombia prior to having visa clearance, they jeopardize their adoption.

Referral

When a family has received a referral, they will give their official acceptance of the referral by sending the Letter of Acceptance to Bethany’s International Office. This is to be done within two weeks of receiving the referral unless the child/children are older or special medical needs in which case ICBF allows additional time for acceptance or denial.

If the family is adopting an older child, the family should send pictures of themselves, their home and extended family. A video and a very small gift must also be sent to the child to be used in preparation of your arrival.

After the family accepts the referral presented, they will be invoiced for the translation of the referral documents (approximately $200-800 per child) and for translation of future post-adoption reports which is $160 per child.

I-800 Form and Visa Clearance process

1.      I-800 Form. The family needs to complete the I-800 form with the National Benefit Center. This form can be completed only if the I-800A is valid. The I-800 form and instructions are found on the uscis.gov website. The family should review this form and begin completing the document after accepting the referral.

2.      Referral documents. Translated referral documents are required for the I-800 form. Once the acceptance letter has been received, the referral documents will be translated by an official translator in Colombia. (The family will be invoiced for the translation and notarization once it has been completed.)

3.      Documents to be issued by Bethany Christian Services. There are a couple of documents that BCSI may need to issue for the I-800 form.

4.      Shipping referral documents. After translation of the referral documents is complete, they will be shipped via DHL to Bethany Christian Services International office. Once the translated referral documents are received in Grand Rapids, they will be reviewed and sent directly to the family along with any documents that need to be issued by BCSI.

5.      Submission of I-800 to National Benefits Center. The family is responsible to submit/file the I-800 form and all supporting documents to the National Benefits Center at the address listed on the instructions. The National Benefits Center (NBC) will review the documents and either issue provisionary approval known as I-797C provisionary approval or request additional documentation in order to issue approval. (Some families have found it helpful to contact NBC to follow-up on the approval. This can be discussed with the social worker and International office.)

6.      DS-230 Form. The DS-230 form is required at the US Embassy in Colombia in order to issue the visa clearance for the family. The family should complete this form while waiting for the I-797C provisionary approval from NBC. Once the form is completed it can be scanned and sent via e-mail or faxed to BCSI. We in turn will send this on to Isabel so that she can present it to the US Embassy in Colombia. There cannot be any scratch outs or writing over on the document. A separate DS-230 form must be completed for each child.

7.      I-797C Provisionary Approval. Once NBC issues the I-797C provisionary approval, the family receives a copy as well as the agency and National Visa Center begins their process.

8.        National Visa Center. The National Visa Center (NVC) is responsible to cable the visa to the US Embassy in Colombia. When the visa is cabled, it is sent via mail to the US Embassy and therefore can take several days to arrive and be acknowledged at the Embassy.

9.      US Embassy in Colombia. Once the US Embassy in Colombia receives the cabled visa from NVC and receives the DS-230 form, the consular officer will review documents and issue Article 5 letter  to request from ICBF confirmation that the child/children meet Hague qualifications for adoption. The representative in Colombia will be checking with the US Embassy to pick-up the visa clearance and Article 5 letter from the Embassy.
 
10.        Travel preparations. The US Embassy will inform the family through an “Article 5” Letter/Letter of “No Objection” that the family has been given visa clearance to travel to Colombia. At this point ICBF or the adoption house will give the presentation date and the family will be informed to obtain their temporary special visa for adoptions (Visa TS) from the appropriate Colombia Consulate and make travel arrangements.

Posted by Susan M. Dykema At 08:37:17 AM Location | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

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As we are fast approaching the end of 2008, we want to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas and a very blessed New Year. During this past year 14 children were united with their forever families. Five of these children arrived home during the month of December. As we look to the new year, we are looking forward to the opportunities for Bethany to continue to be involved in Colombia with children and families.

Posted by Susan M. Dykema At 09:46:01 AM Location | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

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Posted by Susan M. Dykema At 11:15:05 AM Location | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)