Ukraine Adoption Blog

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It is hard to believe that we are already over 6 months into 2009 and Bethany Christian Services would like to give you an update on families who have used our services to adopt a child or children from Ukraine.
 
Over the last 6 months, 5 children came home to their forever families:
4 children were older
1 child was under 5 years of age
 
In addition to providing home studies for families desiring to adopt internationally, we have programs in several countries including Bulgaria, China, Colombia, Ethiopia, Haiti, Hong Kong, Philippines, South Korea, etc. In many of these countries we want to make you aware that currently we have close to 300 waiting children from various countries. These children may be school age or a sibling group. Some children have medical, physical, or developmental challenges ranging from minor to significant. We know that many children with similar needs are waiting in Ukraine, especially young children with down syndrome. In some countries children with special needs have little or no value in their country of origin. They are children of God. It is His passion to have these precious children raised in loving families.

One of the advantages of accepting a waiting child is there is no referral wait time. You will be able to skip that step in your adoption process.
Some of the children have grants already attached to them. Some countries reduce their fees. There are also other financial opportunities for the waiting children.

Won't you consider a waiting child?

Posted by Susan N. Vissers At 01:27:33 PM Location | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

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As a member organization of JCICS (http://www.jcics.org), BCS would like to share JCICS hosted webinars for prospective adoptive families, adoptive families, adoptees and adoption professionals.  Joint Council has gathered some of the most renowned adoption experts who will present various adoption related topics in a webinar education series.  Click here (http://www.jcics.org/Webinar.htm) for a link to the JCICS Webinar series schedule.
 
Webinars will occur on the first Tuesday and the first Thursday of each month at 7 PM EST for the remainder of 2009.  Registration has begun and participants will gain access through submitting a fee of $10 per webinar. What a great opportunity to hear directly from adoption experts and to pose questions to these experienced professionals.  For detailed information, including the webinar
schedule go to http://www.jcics.org/Webinar.htm.

Posted by Susan N. Vissers At 10:32:21 AM Location | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Category Ukraine adoptions
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The first half of 2009 is almost over and we are excited that five children have come home with their families. Three of the children were older or children with special challenges, one child was an early school age girl and the other a three year old boy. Most of the families were in the country about six to seven weeks. Bethany has two additional families with documents submitted. We hope that they will travel this year.

There is a need in this program for adoptive families who can be open to children who are a bit older. There is also a great need for families who can be open to a very young child with Down Syndrome.  We know that there are many of these children available for intercountry adoption. Ukraine is a one trip process with the opportunity to spend a few weeks with your child in his country before returning to the US. This is a good time for beginning the process of attachment and to learn about the culture and heritage of your child.

Up to this point in 2009, there has not been a quota on families or age of children to be adopted. Because of the large number of dossiers submitted for young children when the quota was lifted there is a rumor that the State Department for Adoption may limit the number of dossiers requesting children age 6 and under but this is not yet official. We would suggest that a family who would be open to a child up to the age of five or six years, expand that, if they can, to age seven to avoid this restriction if it occurs.

Additionally there is a law proposed to the Rada that intercountry adoptions be suspended between any countries where there is not an intercountry adoption bi-lateral agreement.  It is questionable whether on not this will even be voted on.  We have heard that a bill was passed that would enforce the more rigid restrictions on adoptive parents but it doesn't really change what already is in effect.

The US Embassy in Kiev is actively engaged with the State Department for Adoption in supporting the current adoption law. Their website is also a good source of information for adoptive parents. It is important to remember with Ukraine that there are often rumors about the adoption process and it would be good to check with your adoption professional before assuming they are true.

Posted by Judy A. Dalrymple At 09:48:08 AM Location | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

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This year, Mother's Day is Sunday, May 10th... HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL MOTHER'S AND ALL MOTHER'S-TO-BE!                                 ..... although not officially on the calendar as a holiday, did you know the Saturday before Mother's Day is celebrated among the adoption community as "Birth-Mother's Day?" A "BirthMother/First Mother" is the name given to a woman who conceives and biologically gives birth to a child who is relinquished or placed for adoption. The adoption constellation involves many people (extended family, support, etc), but the triad consists of three points.  The three-points of the triad are: the child, the Adoptive Mother (or Adoptive Family) and the BirthMother (or BirthFamily), in no particular order.  Without one of these "points" the triad would not exist.  The relationship among the three sides is inter-related and inter-dependent.  All three sides of the triangle are of equal length.  All three should be celebrated equally!  Many Christians believe that as we are all God's adopted children, this adoption triad metaphor reflects the Trinity of our Father. What are some ways that we as adoptive families can honor our child's BirthMother?  Internationally adopted children with little to no information about their BirthFamily oftentimes "fantasize" about where they come from and who their BirthFamily is.  In adoptive families that openly discuss the child's birth-country, BirthParents, and birth-culture, the children as adults report having a more positive self-esteem and self-worth.  Some parents encourage their children to write a letter to their BirthMom/BirthDad on these special days or even their own birthdays.  What is most important to remember is that each child has their own feelings about their BirthParents.  As Adoptive Parents, the best we can do is provide a safe and open place for discussion. Different ways to "honor" or "celebrate" birthparents: -Light a candle on special days. -Say a prayer for them. -Make a special page in the child's Lifebook to celebrate the BirthParent(s). -Write a letter to your child's BirthParent(s) and put it aside to share with your child later. -Write a letter/make a card jointly with your child for the BirthParent(s). -Read age appropriate books together. -Talk about what the BirthParents may look like. -Celebrate unique talents that the child may have... and attribute them to the BirthParent(s). Some adoptive families may not be comfortable talking about the child's BirthFamily or adoption.  Your child will perceive this level of being uncomfortable and may learn to be ashamed or fearful of the discussion.  In order to build a healthy relationship that is based on trust, it is important to be open with your child about their adoption.  If these discussions are open and supported from the beginning, your child will grow to learn that their adoption is celebrated, not hidden.  Your child will be proud to be adopted and will be able to honor their BirthParent's with Thanksgiving! The book I Wish for You a Beautiful Life (Yeong & Yeong Book Company; ISBN 0-9638472-3-6) is a compilation of letters from Korean BirthMother's to their relinquished children.  Each letter is very unique and provides a glimpse of the different cultures and emotions that this choice has created, related to separation and detachment that a BirthMother may experience and/or express in writing. As a Mother (whether through birth or adoption) of a child... whether your child is with you, with God, living in Ukraine or yet to be born... Bethany Christian Services and the Ukraine Team wish you a warm and loving "Happy Mother's Day."  We also keep in prayer the BirthMother's that give Life to these precious children and love them enough to want for them, what they cannot provide.  These women too, should be celebrated, honored, and given Thanksgiving.  Their struggles and choices are immeasurable and we may never know them, but we do know them in our hearts.  We pray that they are safe, loved and at Peace.   *In this Blog Post, we use the term "BirthMother" to refer to the woman who conceived and birthed the child whom was then adopted.  There are other terms such as: "First Mother" or "Biological Mother" or "Genetic Mother" to name a few.  The PC world of language and adoption is sensitive and we mean no offense to any particular term mentioned or not mentioned.

Posted by Susan N. Vissers At 08:50:04 AM Location | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

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May 1 Marks Labor Day

Many countries throughout the world celebrate Labor Day on May 1, a holiday that has a special significance in European countries that dates back centuries.  May Day, as it is sometimes called, traditionally was a festive event welcoming the coming of spring and in some countries held religious importance.

In recent decades, it has changed to take on a different tenor honoring the achievements of workers including parades, ceremonies and patriotic oriented events.  The celebration has also been used to promote social change including advocating eight hour work days and increasing vacation time for citizens.  Recent years some countries have seen a rise in protests from people concerned with rising food and fuel prices.

Submitted by Hal Molhoek

Posted by Susan N. Vissers At 07:36:35 AM Location | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

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Orthodox Easter                                 April 19 marks the day of Orthodox Easter celebrated throughout Eastern Europe, with customs that have been observed for centuries.  Referred to as Pascha in most countries, it is considered the most important religious holiday of the year, often more significant and sacred than Christmas.  Orthodox Easter is celebrated later than that in the West, (typically one week) and follows the Julian calendar as opposed to the West which follows the Gregorian calendar.  

The weeks leading up to Easter are usually quite solemn leading up to the celebrations of the Easter weekend when the atmosphere is quite festive.  Special foods, desserts, and brightly colored eggs are part of the custom as the parishioners greet each other with the words, “He has risen.”

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Posted by Susan N. Vissers At 11:58:32 AM Location | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

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Dear Bethany Family,

We regret to inform you that there will not be a Multicultural Festival in 2009.  For the last couple decades, we’ve been blessed with the resources and volunteers to host this fabulous event for families across the country to unite in Grand Rapids, MI and celebrate their multicultural and adoptive families.  Unfortunately, that is no longer the case.  We hope that your local branch offices can maintain an annual picnic or gathering of some sort.

It has been wonderful to see families gather here in Grand Rapids year after year, particularly our Ukraine families.  

Sincerely,

The Ukraine Team
Bethany Christian Services-International
Grand Rapids, MI

Posted by Susan N. Vissers At 08:56:07 AM Location | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

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We are looking forward to growth in Ukraine adoptions for 2009.  There were many changes, new requirements and quotas imposed in 2008 which made it a more challenging year.  Four families came home last year for a total of five children.  One was an older child with physical needs who had waited so long to join his family.  Two other children were 4 and 6 years old and the fourth family adopted a sibling group who were 2 and 6 years old.  We are thankful for the new opportunities given these children with a home and parents to love and care for them.

In the first month of 2009 two older and/or special needs children came home with their families.  One family is currently in Ukraine and another leaves the end of February.  A third family's dossier has been submitted and they are waiting for an appointment date.  Four additional families are working on their home study/dossier preparation and will hopefully travel in this year.  

At this time Ukraine is not enforcing a quota system either for countries or age of children.  We will continue to register dossiers as they come to us.  There are three steps in the system of the SDA (State Department for Adoption).  The first step is the registration of the dossier, the second is the submission of the dossier and the third is the scheduling of an appointment date for the family.   On Mondays, dossiers are accepted for children up to the age of 6 years,  on Tuesday and Wednesday, dossiers are accepted for children age 6-12 years and on Thursday for children over the age of 12 years.  Recently it was reported that only 40 dossiers had been submitted for 2009.  The lower number is likely due to all the new requirements for the dossier documents.  

There are many children who wait for families in Ukraine.  The children who wait are often part of a larger sibling group or have special needs.  The sibling groups will have older children but could also include a child in the 3-4 year age range.  The question was asked about children with Down Syndrome and the response was there are many in need of homes, even young children.   There are not many young girls or children 3 years and under available for intercountry adoption.

Adopting from Ukraine is a good opportunity for those families who can be flexible regarding the age and gender of the child to be adopted or who can be open to older sibling groups or those children who face extra challanges in life.

Posted by Judy A. Dalrymple At 11:49:53 AM Location | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

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Please note the following Blog Guidelines
for Ukraine adoptive families

Do not post pictures of Ukranian children until they are legally yours (determined by the Court in Ukraine).

Do not talk about fund raising or grants.  Ukraine would expect families to be able to afford to care for the children, and indicating you are fundraising or seeking grants, leads some to believe you cannot afford the care of the children.

Do not talk about reasons that Ukraine has so many orphans.  They have a lot of pride in their country and they want us to appreciate their rich culture.  Talk about the positives of the country rather than the “negatives”.

After you receive a referral, no identifying information regarding the child should be on the blog – no orphanage, no name, age, reason why they are orphaned, etc.   Just say, for example, we have a referral of a little boy or a sib group, waiting for our court date, they are beautiful!  Do not talk about the circumstances surrounding your child's family, siblings etc.  Do not discuss the adoption process and what is happening each day building up to the court date.

Picture sharing is also confidential until you have gotten court approval.  If family, friends, etc. comment on the children, you may want to edit those comments to maintain the confidential nature of the children – until they are legally yours.  Do not email the picture of your referral to anyone.

Do not post pictures of Ukranian children until they are legally yours (determined by the Court in Ukraine).

In general, be careful about what you post:   It could happen that a family would be denied because of what they were posting on their blog.

Be wise and respectful in what you are publishing.  You can talk about your living arrangements, your general activities each day (shopping, laundry, sightseeing, foods,) your visits to the orphanage and activities that you did with your child and how you are building a relationship with this child.

Note that anything published on a public blog may potentially be read by international adoption opponents or government officials, Please use descretion.

Posted by Susan N. Vissers At 02:50:42 PM Location | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)