Chosen—A Legacy and Heritage
In honor of National Adoption Month, adoptive mother Kim Zimmerman shares her family’s personal adoption experience.
I did not share our struggle with infertility, but I did field many questions in our first five years of marriage. “Don’t you want to have children?” “Are you even trying?” Our lack of children was often met with the suggestion for a quick solution: “Just adopt.” One does not “just” adopt. Children are valuable and precious! They are not commodities or merchandise. Deciding to adopt entailed considering God’s plan for our family and weighing our own desires, not to mention a financial commitment.
Of the two of us, it was my husband who first proposed the idea of adoption. Though adoption was always a potential plan for our family, I had envisioned building our family naturally. Being an adoptee without blood relatives, I thought I wanted to share a bloodline with my children. I gave up the dream of having that connection and proceeded with the adoption process. I confess that I felt somewhat apathetic inside.
As the Home Study came to an end, my husband mentioned that his mother is a twin. The social worker asked us if we were interested in twins, and we quickly replied that we would need to consider that!
We were on a trip to Chicago when we got a call from our social worker. She had returned from vacation and seen paperwork on her coworker’s desk for twins from South Korea. Knowing we were next in line, she took the papers, called us, and announced twins were ready to share their home with us. We no longer needed to “consider” twins! Yes!
As we traveled with my parents to pick up the 5-month-old baby girls from the airport with a caravan of family behind us, I still struggled with knowing what I should feel. “What if I don’t feel anything?” I asked my mom, explaining that I did not have the feelings I thought I was “supposed” to have as a mother. I was not excited and did not feel emotionally attached. Mom, being an adoptive mom herself said, “Just wait. You’ll see.” And she was right. The moment I saw those girls being carried from the plane—and as they were handed to us—I was instantly overwhelmed with affection for them. I felt an immediate desire to protect them. I never revisited, “What if”—that concern never returned.
We continue to celebrate their arrival day annually, but right now, to our 10-year-old girls, that just means a day off school for shopping, pizza, and fun with Mom and Dad. We hope this day will hold more meaning for them later. We pray for their birthmom and foster mothers regularly. Jasmine and Ashley hold a special affection for them, and I realize their birthmom’s heart probably aches.
Our girls are our girls, and I find it interesting when people say they look like us. They are light skinned and tall like their dad. They have my hair and facial features. They have our ways, habits, and personality traits. I cannot imagine our family any other way, that they could be someone else’s girls had our social worker not returned from vacation that day. I don’t need a bloodline. Their nature is from our nurture. We will have a legacy and heritage of being chosen—being loved.
—Kim Zimmerman, adoptive mother
The views expressed in this post are the opinion of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Bethany.