Jan 05, 2015
Today’s guest blog is contributed by Natasha Mueller, a birthmother who celebrates the sweet life her son has—the life she always imagined and gave him through an open adoption plan. Natasha works at Bethany as a job developer with Refugee Employment Services.
The pregnancy test confirmed it: I was pregnant. Now, with me still in high school and my boyfriend in his first year of college, we had to make a plan.
I grew up in a Christian home, and my mother had worked for Bethany Christian Services for years, first as a pregnancy counselor, then with waiting families. Despite my faith in her compassionate work as a counselor, she was my mother, and I did not want her to know what I had done. And so we tried to determine our options on our own.
I knew there was a home I could stay in through the end of pregnancy, and that they would help me find an adoptive family for our baby. But all of a sudden we were also considering abortion, which seemed like the easiest option. Neither of us thought abortion was right, however, and I knew if we aborted our child a deep sense of wrong would stay with us the rest of our lives.
We did decide providing our child a home with two parents who loved each other and loved God was most important. But we also knew getting married and parenting our baby ourselves was not the answer. So, still keeping our crisis to ourselves, we looked at some adoption programs in our town. The social worker we connected with at the first agency encouraged us to talk with our parents before looking at waiting family profiles, and we did. Once we told our parents, my own mother’s experience as a pregnancy counselor made a difference.
Perhaps that was part of God’s plan, because Mom remembered a couple who had adopted their first child with her as their counselor. Recalling two years later how transparent and honest and real they were, she wondered if they might be the adoptive parents we were looking for. They were contacted and asked if they were interested in adopting again.
Not only were they interested, but their great level of faith stood out to us. We began to work with Bethany and one of their pregnancy counselors, choosing open adoption, which at the time was a fairly new concept. They were part of the birth plan, the adoptive mom cut the umbilical cord when our son was born, and they were the first couple to hold him. We also made plans for the birthfather and me to visit our son.
Natasha with her birthson and his sister
The experience was bitter sweet. Grief overwhelmed me at times. But post adoption, I was able to see how my son responded to his new family and how much they loved him, and with time the experience became less bitter and more sweet. It has been sweetness to see him have the life I wanted for him but couldn’t give him myself. And I am grateful to God for the compassionate help I received through the experience of pregnancy and adoption counselors, including my own mother.
Listen to Bethany Christian Services’ Every Child podcast for more on issues relative to vulnerable children. From adoption and foster care to the introduction of sustainable social services in developing countries, Every Child features an informative discussion, led by Bethany’s President/CEO Bill Blacquiere, with leading voices from ministries and nonprofit organizations, as well as Christian authors and artists.
Read more from president and CEO, Bill Blacquiere’s Every Child blog on Christian Post.