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Nov 12, 2014

November is National Adoption Month, so Stepping Stones invited readers to submit their adoption stories that share their doubts, struggles, fears, and joys when they were considering adoption. Mary Beth Brummond answered the call!

I have always thought adoption was a wonderful thing. I just never pictured myself adopting. It has been a slow process and long journey for me to become more open (and even excited) about adoption. Thankfully and mercifully God has softened my heart and nurtured in me a desire to adopt. I am also coming to see how adoption allows a family to reflect God the Father’s love for us.

Before we got married, Mike and I talked about hopes and dreams for our family. If not able to have children physically, we both agreed that we wanted to adopt. Little did we know that God would lead us down this path.

We started trying to conceive with excitement and anticipation. As the months and years passed, with no conception, our hope turned to heartbreak. We experienced sadness, anger, and brokenness. Infertility and subsequent treatment wore us out spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically. But we knew we wanted a family, so we started to consider adoption.

Mike, with his big, beautiful heart, was open and excited to all the possibilities of a family through adoption. 

For me it was much longer road. By adopting I felt that I would be giving up my hope of ever bearing children physically. I realize now that’s not true. Who knows what the future holds? 

Also, I have a lot of fears. Mostly fears about the unknown: How long will the wait be? Will we be able to afford it? Will we be good parents to an adopted child? Will we be able to do a transracial adoption, if God calls us to that? Is God leading us to special needs or older child adoption? How will we share about their adoption with our child? Will an open adoption lessen the bond between us and our adopted child? …and many, many more. 

We applied two years ago to an adoption agency. We are on a waiting list to start the adoption process. It is a small agency and they only have room for a certain number of couples on their profile, partly the number of birthmothers choosing adoption is declining. We applied to another agency last year, to be on another waiting list. In the meantime we began spreading the word, hoping to connect directly with an expectant mother considering adoption.

During this year and a half of waiting, the Lord has softened my heart. I am excited about bringing home our adopted son or daughter! I am looking forward to meeting him or her, seeing their sweet face, and holding them close. This is the grace of God! How did God work in my heart? Through His word and the liturgy. It is amazing how many scripture references and prayers in the liturgy at our church refer to each person’s identity as a child of God through adoption. Once we started preparing for adoption, I started noticing these references…kind of like when you get a new car, and you start to notice other cars just like it on the road. 

Below is an example one of the prayers during liturgy (Nineteenth Sunday in Ordinary Time): 

“Almighty ever-living God, whom, taught by the Holy Spirit, we dare to call our Father, bring, we pray, to perfection in our hearts the spirit of adoption as your sons and daughter, that we may merit to enter into the inheritance which you have promised.” 

And a prayer from Pentecost: “You bestowed the Holy Spirit today on those you made your adopted children by uniting them to your Only Begotten Son.” 

Romans 8:14-17 has also resonated with me. In fact today, as I was thinking of writing this post, it happened to be a reading at church: 

“For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory” (Romans 8:14-17 NIV).

We are God’s children by adoption. We can call him “Daddy/Abba, Father”! He has accepted us, welcomed us, and first loved us even in the midst of our brokenness, inadequacy, and sin. He was not afraid to be the first to love. Because we are children of God through adoption we are heirs with Christ and we have the hope of salvation. This is good news! 

I realized that adoption is a special and beautiful way in which we can share in God’s love. A family created through adoption reflects God’s love in a unique way. The parents and children not only share love with one another, but are also a sign to the world of God’s very love for us, his adopted children. That’s big! That’s an honor! I feel blessed that the Lord is leading us in this direction, and changing my heart. 

I am humbled and excited for what’s to come. While I still feel nervous and fearful at times, I am confident that the God who first adopted me will love me unconditionally, and use me to do the same for another.

If you feel that God is calling you towards adopting a child, please visit Bethany.org/adoption or call 1.800.BETHANY.

For more information or resources on infertility or pregnancy loss, or to subscribe to the Stepping Stones newsletter, visit bethany.org/steppingstones.

Listen to Bethany Christian Services’ Every Child podcast for more on issues relative to vulnerable children. From adoption and foster care to the introduction of sustainable social services in developing countries, Every Child features an informative discussion, led by Bethany’s President/CEO Bill Blacquiere, with leading voices from ministries and nonprofit organizations, as well as Christian authors and artists.